Tomorrow is the day of the big
fly-fishing trip. I’ve never been fly fishing before so this is a totally new, “out
of my comfort zone”, experience. I’m both apprehensive and excited at the same
time. When I made that New Year’s
resolution about “trying new things, going new places, and pushing myself
beyond my comfort zone”, I had no idea all the many new things that would
happen to me this year; A plane ride to NYC, TV shows, speaking engagements,
riding a Harley, climbing a dune, riding a bike…..WOW….what an incredible,
adventurous year for a “prefer to stay at home – very comfortable being an
observer-somewhat sheltered” kind of girl like me! NOW….in less than 24 hours I’m going
fly-fishing with a charter captain and some dear friends. I even get to wear
those chest high wader things. I’m not sure what to do with them or how on
earth I’m ever going to WALK in them, but I get to wear them! J From what I’ve seen on the website for the
charter captain, I might even catch a fish…..a BIG fish! They fish for salmon and other fish that can
be 20+ pounds. Oh boy!
I have always loved to fish…..well,
perhaps it’s better described as “feeding them my worms” as I usually only fish
for bluegill and pan fish. Occasionally, I’ll put on a rubber worm and try to
land a bass or a pike, but I rarely get anything big enough to keep. Until this
summer, I used to fish with my brother and his family on a pretty regular
basis, but ironically, this summer I didn’t even go fishing once! It used to be
something that I enjoyed a lot, but it probably has more to do with the fact
that it was one of VERY FEW activities that I COULD do in the summer. My
brother used to help get my wheeled walker on the boat, or on good days, I could
use just the cane, and I’d just sit there and fish. Even an obese, immobile
girl could do that much, but it was a chore just to get from the car to the
dock. By the time I got to the boat, just about all of my energy was drained.
Not anymore! Now I’m going fly-fishing….at least once, anyway!
I have to admit, however, that as
excited as I am about the new experience, I’m also a bit….well, actually, more
than a bit…A LOT, apprehensive. When my friends invited me about a month ago, I
immediately said, “I can’t do that…I’ve never done that…How am I going to pee
in the woods….How am I going to get out of the boat….What if….How….But…..I’m
not sure….I don’t know.” I have changed my mind so many times about this trip
and almost convinced myself that I COULD NEVER do that. “Old Theresa” has reared her ugly head once
again and almost convinced me to give up this “once in a life-time (maybe)”
opportunity.
Whenever “Old Theresa” used to
get invited anywhere, this type of thinking always occurred, and finally “she”
convinced me to just stay home. Eventually, the invitations quit coming and I
was content…or so I thought…to stay home and go to bed with a bag of chips. Part of this fear/apprehension/anxiety came
from the reality of my life as a 400 pound woman who couldn’t hardly walk. EVERY single thing I did had to be thought out
and I had to have a plan. “How was I going
to get there…..where would I park….what does the venue look like….will there be
tables or booths….will they have an amigo cart….would the chairs have arms…..would
I be able to do it….how would my RA pain be that day…..what would I wear……would
I know anyone there.” The list was enormous.
I used to have to think so much about all of those issues. If you
are/were obese, you’ve been there and you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. If you are not, this may be the first time
you’ve even considered how difficult it is for those that are extremely
overweight. Just imagine the humiliation
if you broke someone’s lawn chair or couldn’t fit into a booth at a restaurant.
Life is not like that anymore for
me, but the memories are always lurking in the back of my mind because that way
of life could come back if I don’t continue to stay focused and motivated.
Since losing my weight, I no longer really have to think about furniture,
stairs, mobility issues or clothing. I do, however, ALWAYS have to consider
food, and plan accordingly. I also have
to be mindful that my Rheumatoid Arthritis has a mind of its own and flares
come and go without warning. For tomorrow’s trip, I have already planned to
bring a small cooler. I know that they are going to have a ‘shore breakfast’
and “grilled riverside lunch” but I don’t know what will be served. Yes, I know,
I could just eat whatever is served for this one day…but I choose not to.
Instead, I’ll bring yogurt, fruit, protein bars, and other healthy options…just
in case! I’ll have enough to worry about
without being concerned about food.
After all…. I still have to decide “what to wear” underneath those big
rubber waders! AND…the more pressing
issue…..how am I going to go to the bathroom in the woods/water/waders??? J Stay tuned! I likely won’t be posting
tomorrow as I’m being picked up at 3:30 am and expect to be gone all day and
into the evening. I’m sure, however, that I’ll have quite a FISH TALE to tell
you on Thursday! That is, if I don’t
show up on “Funniest Home Videos” or the news for falling out of the boat
first!
Make it a great day everyone….and
for a moment….just IMAGINE what kind of experiences you are going to enjoy….now
or in the future when you reach your goal.
Don’t give up!
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