Good Morning. Most
people who know me will agree that I am very much a “girly” girl. I love
clothes, shoes, and accessories, especially jewelry. I own only a few pieces of
sentimental ‘real” jewelry, but I have more costume jewelry than I can wear in
a year. One of the problems with this is storing necklaces, earrings,
bracelets, etc. in such a way that I can access them easily. I’ve yet to find a
really good solution to the situation, and at the moment, I have a pile of
necklaces on the bathroom counter that got all tangled up because I put a bunch
of jewelry in a Ziploc bag when I went on a recent trip: Not a really good
idea!!
I tend to change
clothes several times before I finally decide on an outfit, and of course, that
means changing jewelry multiple times as well.
Although this silliness makes it appear that I’m really just a
superficial diva, I really just like dressing up after so many years of not
really caring anything about my appearance. I simply didn’t have the desire or
energy to put forth. My, how things have changed and I have a lot of fun thrift
shopping and putting outfits together on a limited budget…..but….. my silliness
and changing accessories multiple times each morning and tossing them on the
counter has resulted in a tangled mess, and…. because I haven’t taken the time
(there are NEVER enough hours in my day) to unravel the cluster, I struggle
each morning to free the necklace or bracelet that I wish to wear that day.
Usually I get frustrated and just choose something else, but vow each morning
that I’m going to just take the time to sort things out when I get home so that
tomorrow I won’t go through the same hassle. However… I’m often so tired when I return home
at the end of the day and usually have more pressing issues to address….and so,
the cluster remains…waiting to aggravate me again. Sigh……….
For the past few days I’ve been thinking about that tangled
mess and asking myself why I’m putting off sorting it out. I’ve come up with
many ‘excuses’, but none of them have any merit. Thoughts like, “it’s going to
frustrating when I can’t get a knot out”. “Every time I’ve done this in the
past I ended up breaking a chain”, “it’s not that big deal, I can wear
something else”, “It’s going to be a long, aggravating process and I just don’t
have the patience because there are too many other things I need to do,” and “I just plain ole don’t want to!” I can
go on and on…and as a result, each morning I am greeted with the same
thing. I’ve used many of those same excuses to put
off making the changes that needed to improve my health and well-being.
I’ve shared recently that my emotions are all over the place
this holiday season. One minute I’m excited about Christmas; the next I’m overwhelmed
with stuff I need to do. I’ve been looking at old photos and remembering past
Christmas’ and I go from smiling at the wonderful memories to being choked up
as I think about those I love who will be missing from our celebration. This
will be my 2nd Christmas without my stepdad Tony, and I think this
one is more difficult than last. I’m happy one minute; melancholy the next; and
yet, I am incredibly hopeful for the future because God continues to bless me
with wonderful people to share my journey. Still, my thoughts and emotions are
like that tangled mess of jewelry on the bathroom counter that need to be dealt
with, even if it’s easier to just ‘be busy” and ignore them. Doing so, however, will never lead to growth
and is incredibly dangerous to an emotional eater like me. Too many years of
ignoring or stifling emotions led me to a very unhealthy place because it was/is
easier to bury the pain; confusion; fear; grief….even the good….with food than
it was/is to address it. Unfortunately, things never get sorted out if we are
not willing to take the time needed to untangle our thoughts, confront our
fears; forgive those who have hurt us, or surrender our pain and sadness….essentially
our life to God….and we will never be truly free when we have ‘knotted up,
tangled up, or otherwise messed up” thoughts that need to be dealt with. Even when I throw a towel on the counter,
those pieces of jewelry remain buried there, unwearable, unusable, and unable
to bring the beauty that the designer intended when he/she created the items.
Although we might think that just because we are hiding, burying, or numbing
our pain with food, drink, or other substances/behaviors, denying our reality,
or putting off doing what we need to do, the truth is that those issues are always
going to be there if we aren’t willing to go through the frustration,
aggravation, and sometimes pain of sorting them out. Sigh……. I’m 100% convinced that changing the
way we think is as important to our success as changing the way we eat or
act. BUT… it’s not easy. In fact, it’s
downright hard!
Right now, the pile of tangled jewelry is not a critical
thing on my “to do” list so it will likely be there for me to address after the
holidays because it’s going to take a lot of time to sort out. Likely I will
just deal with what emotions I need to deal with to get through this holiday
season because I’m weary and have a lot to sort out, but I WILL be extremely conscious
of my thoughts….acknowledge that they are there….and be very aware of what I eat,
making sure that I am using food as fuel, rather than as comfort. If you find yourself in a tangled web of
thoughts and emotions, I encourage you to do the same and ask yourself if you
are eating because you are hungry…..or because it’s easier than feeling
whatever it is you feel. Nobody said that a life changing journey is easy….but
it is so incredibly worth it. I remind myself that every single day. We will be successful…..we will change our
life…..and we will all experience more joy than we ever dreamed possible…..but
only if/when we are willing to allow God to sort out the tangled mess that we
sometimes create of our lives.
Have a peace-filled….hope-filled
day today!
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