Good Morning.
For many of you living in the United States, this is the
weekend when Daylight Savings Time ends. For our group members in other parts
of the country and the world who are
unfamiliar with the concept, this means that we set the clock back one hour
last night, so we essentially “gain” one hour of time this weekend. In the spring,
we set our clocks ahead one hour so we ‘lose’ that hour. This adjustment in the
clocks means that it will be lighter in the morning when I go to work tomorrow,
but by 5:30 p.m. when I arrive home, it will already be dark outside. Before
long it will be dark for my commute both ways.
These “time change” weekends really mess with my body’s
internal clock and it will take a few weeks for me to adjust. After all, I
already have a weird biological clock (no, not the “I want to have babies”
clock; those days are long gone) because I wake up naturally so early in the
morning. This morning, when I woke at the usual time (well, yesterday morning’s
time) around 3:00 a.m., the clock today said “2:00 a.m.” I’m sure I’ll be ready for bed shortly after
dinner this evening. Sigh…..as my friend
lovingly says, “I’m a weird little duck!”
It should come as no
surprise that my thoughts this weekend have been focused on time. At this stage
in my life, it seems that time is one thing that I have too little of and there
are more things on my ‘to-do” or “want-to-do” lists than there are hours in the
day to do them. Sometimes I think this is a bad thing; but most of the time, I’m
grateful for this conundrum because my life wasn’t always like that. A few years
ago when I was morbidly obese and unable to walk more than a few steps, time just seemed to drag on and on, and every hour, every day was filled with the
same: physical pain, emotional heartache, despair and struggle. The same thing….day-in
and day-out. The seasons would change;
the calendar would change; the weeks would tick away…but my reality was still
the same: I was just getting heavier and heavier and falling deeper and deeper
into darkness. Time would just drag on.
Not anymore! Now I never seem to have enough time to do the things I need/want
to do!
About 20 years ago, my Grandma Brinkmeier died on the
weekend that Daylight Savings Time ended. As our family gathered at the hospital
to hold vigil at her bedside during those final hours of her journey, I remember
telling my Uncle Bob, that “It figures; one of the worst weekends of our life…and
we have to have an extra hour of sadness.” It was just a flippant remark and we
would grieve the loss regardless of the time displayed on the clock, but the
comment does remind me that time means different things for different folks
depending on the reality of their lives.
And so my thoughts this weekend have been focused on time; how I spend
it and what it means to me.
As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I took some children ‘trick-or-treating”
to the local nursing home. For the residents there, I’m guessing that “time”
means little to them. Many of them don’t even know what day of the week it is
or whether it’s day or night. Some can’t remember the years gone by or the
names of their children. Some are just “existing”…..waiting and hoping to die
and time just seems to stand still. For so many people....including some of you….this
is how you spend your time. For those that are very ill or suffering physically
or mentally…every minute of the day is painful. For those that are lonely or
depressed….every minute is full of sadness. For those of you that are grieving the
loss of a loved one; waiting for test results; struggling to get through
college or raising children during a ‘terrible twos….or bratty teenage” period;
or waiting for a special event, time seems to just linger. Maybe you have such
physical pain that you seem to be continually waiting for the time when you can
take the next dose of pain medication….or you’re struggling financially and you
spend days or weeks feeling cold or hungry waiting for ‘payday” so that you can
pay a bill or buy some groceries. Perhaps you are on a life-changing journey
and you are waiting for ‘things to improve” or your efforts to pay off and it
seems like it is taking SO LONG….especially in those weeks when the scale doesn’t
seem to move. Geez….I’ve been on this weight loss plan for months….and I’m
still in the same size; nobody has even noticed; I’m still so fat. SIGH….
I’ve been there; I know
that life; and honestly, there were a lot of years when I just wished that my
time on this earth would run out and God would take me to heaven because I didn’t
think I could take much more. What
horrible way to spend one’s time…..and yet….for so many people in this world,
this is their reality of time. And so I pray today and everyday……Thank you,
Lord, that those days have passed for me; may I always grateful for the gift of
each day and make the most of every minute of life I’ve been blessed with….and
more importantly, may I use my time to ease the pain, sorrow, and sadness for
those whose reality of time is one of despair and hopelessness and spread the
message that for many, but not all, “life doesn’t have to be that way!”
Little steps….like recognizing
that every hour in the day is a gift from God and being grateful….regardless of
the circumstances; doing just ONE thing to improve the quality of life for
someone else; or making ONE little change to improve your own health and
well-being can make a big difference in your own perception of “TIME” and is a
step on the journey of changing your reality of time from one where ‘time just
lingers on…day in-day out….to one where it ‘flies by” much too quickly.
Many years ago, while taking 8th graders on a
retreat to prepare for the sacrament of Confirmation, I did a little exercise
about time. We were asked to reflect and answer the question: If you found out
today that you only had 24 hours to live; how would you spend those 24 hours? The answers varied greatly within the
group: some would go to church or get
things right with God; others said they would spend time with their family and
make sure they knew they loved them. Some said they would spend time with
friends or watch the sunrise. I think
that one of my answers back then was “plant flowers.” I would plant perennials,
tulips and daffodils, so that every spring/summer flowers would bloom and
someone might smile and think of me. Today my answer is a bit different….but
not much….and “planting flowers” is still a very big part of it, but not
necessarily “physically” planting flowers, but more like ‘planting seeds of
hope that life could be different’…doing what I can to make life better for myself
and those around me.
That little experience/activity was…and continues to be…a
very powerful one because it helps me keep things in perspective and set
priorities. My ‘last 24 hours on earth”
to-do list would certainly NOT contain: washing
my dishes; pulling the weeds; paying the phone bill; or getting my haircut;
taking a nap; or worrying about my excess skin or the 20 pounds I’d like to
lose eventually. Although these (well all
but the worrying one) are important to keeping a sense of order in life,
they certainly are less important to me than making sure that those people in
my life know that I love them; being right with God; righting wrongs; spending
time with others; and other things that leave a legacy of love….of giving
someone something to talk about at my funeral…. “ (Do you BELIEVE that Theresa
said that……Do you believe that she jumped on a trampoline…..Did you know that
she dressed up and went trick-or-treating or got up in the middle of the night
to watch shooting stars…..and fed stray cats……or called people on the other
side of the country that e-mailed her and asked for help?”)
THESE…..are the things that I want to do in my last 24 hours.
THESE are kind of things I want to do every day. This is the way I want to
spend my ‘extra hour” of time during Daylight Savings Time and every other bit
of free time I might manage to squeak out of a busy day. These things are so much more rewarding and
joyful than the reality of my life just a few years ago when taking pain pills,
eating chips and junk food to dull the sadness or fill the emptiness, hiding
behind a couple of hundred pounds of excess body weight to keep other from
getting too close to me so that I wouldn’t be hurt again, or wishing my life
would end was a way of life.
My life is so much different; so much busier; so much
happier these days.....far from perfect….but so much better these days. But none of it…not one single bit of it…..would
be possible, first…without the grace of God that set me free….or second, had I not
taken that very first step to change. At 428 pounds I was merely existing;
secretly hoping that my time on earth would run out, praying that I would have
the strength to get through the day. Today….. I run out of time each day to do
all that I want to do! Trust me…having ‘too
little time” is much better than having ‘too much time.” I may not be alive
today had I not begun this journey. I may not be alive tomorrow, because I know
that only God controls the amount of time remaining my ‘hourglass” but I do
know and believe that each day is a gift….and I want to live it to the fullest. In order to do so, howvever, I have to treat
my body well; feed it healthy food; rest and be active; and make choices all
day….every day….that will help me keep this weight off so that I can continue
to be as active, healthy, and happy as humanly possible, for as long as God
chooses to bless me with breath.
My friends……today…. I ask you this same question: If you found out today that your life would
end in 24 hours; what would you do today?
Those things on your list are the very things that you should be doing
each and every day (in balance…you still have to do those “be a responsible adult”
things like go to work; pay bills; take care of business). If you’re not feeling right with God….take
the first step to improve that situation
If you’re at odds with someone and it bothers you…..give him/her a call
or at least ask God to help you forgive him/her. If you’re sad and lonely….reach out to
someone who makes you smile or do something kind for someone else; that always
helps takes the focus off your own misery. If there are habits, thoughts, or
people in your life that are holding you back or robbing you of peace and joy….ask
God to help you get rid of them. If you’ve
been blessed….first give thanks and be grateful; and then, share what you can
with others…be it wisdom, love, laughter, or a helping hand.
If your life is full
of pain; you’re burdened by your weight or addiction; you struggle to find even
a bit of joy or peace, do something today…..at least ONE LITTLE THING….to change
the situation. There are likely many things in your life that you can do
nothing about but I’m pretty certain that there are some things that you can do
to improve your health and well-being….to make things better and easier. Make a decision today….that next year….when
it comes time to change the clocks back and you gain an extra hour, you will be
happy about it and say, “GREAT…..one more hour….WHAT A GIFT….rather than, “So
what….an extra hour of misery.” YOU CAN….with
God’s help….change your life….and that in turn, will change the lives of those
around you.
Life is a gift…..a precious gift…..make the most of it and
be grateful….and live today like it were your last because for many, it will
be!
No comments:
Post a Comment