Saturday, April 12, 2014

How do you see yourself?

Good Morning!   It’s Saturday….and I’ve been up for hours already but enjoying the day so far. Had a pleasant wee-morning phone conversation with a friend and finally did my income taxes (nothing like waiting till the last minute).  Later, I’ll be going to pick up my vehicle from the repair shop and then will be back to business as usual.

There’s been some exciting things happening in the past week or so regarding the sharing of my story. I signed a contract with a European magazine to do a feature story with them. The interview will take place via phone (no trip to England for me) sometime in the very near future.  On Tuesday, I have a photo shoot set up for another magazine…possibly two (these are health magazines)…to be published here in the state sometime this summer. I also finalized the deal to deliver a keynote address for a woman’s wellness day in early May, and then the following week I’ll be speaking at the Soaring Eagle Casino for the State Recognition Conference for T.O.P.S.  Fortunately these two big events will happen the day after my college semester ends. The main focus in the coming weeks will be finishing up my classes and final projects, and THEN, I’ll worry about the speeches.  However….What to wear for all these events is ALWAYS a priority…LOL!  J   Yes, I am SUCH A GIRL! 

In the very near future, I will be meeting with someone to assist me in determining if I need to set up an LLC business in the event that I continue to get approached for various speaking requests. This is such a foreign world to me….and I honestly, just shake my head when I think about all that has happened in my life in the past year or two. I am…..apprehensive and anxious at times….confused and weary at times….fearful and at a loss of words at times…..and yet….I am always humbled, honored, and grateful. I simply must believe that God has a purpose in mind, and trust that He will lead me in the right direction and to the right people to help me out and teach me what I need to know.  I also need to come up with a business name in the event that I need to go that route…I’ve got a few ideas, but am open to suggestions…..feel free to help with your ideas!   So….onward and upward I go….one thought, one step, one day at a time.  I’m so blessed to have you all as companions on this journey!
When I saw this clipart, it really struck me because I have struggled with self-image for many years. This clip one is a positive image…..the old woman sees herself completely different than the rest of the world does. At times we all have periods when we think we are better than we really are….we become self-absorbed and egotistical….we think we are invincible and “all that and then some.” For a lot of years, I looked in the mirror and didn’t see reality….(How did I not truly “see” that I was over 400 pounds?) Oftentimes, we are in denial and we fail to recognize that we are in trouble….serious trouble and we tune out those who try to help. Some of you might relate. Perhaps, like me, you didn’t realize how big you were/are until you saw a picture of yourself…or you saw the number on the scale…..or you realized that you had outgrown the largest size in the store.  Some of you may not have realized how serious your addiction, emotional or psychological problem, health, relationship or depression was until you get a DUI,  you landed in the hospital, your spouse had an affair, or you hit rock-bottom and wanted to end your life. It’s those Ah-ha moments that prompt us to change. I was no different…I failed to see how bad things really were.
 Sometimes these days I struggle in the opposite way. I look in the mirror and see the old Theresa….the fearful Theresa…the disabled, overweight, defeated, sad, worthless Theresa.  It is a constant struggle to see the new Theresa…to recognize the goodness and presence of God in the mirror, even though I am continually receiving positive feedback, words of encouragement and support, and expressions of gratitude, etc…from others.  I am so blessed to have wonderful people… you and very dear friends…who saw goodness in me THEN….and see goodness NOW….and are willing to reflect it back to me.  I battle this negativity often and daily surrender it to God, asking Him to help me see in myself what He sees in me; namely, that I am wonderfully made in His image…flaws and all.

Sometimes, I think we can be our own worst enemy…..and that negative reflection we have of ourselves, and our self-doubt, unworthiness, unwillingness to look beyond our weaknesses….are the very things that threaten to sabotage our progress and derail us off track.  Oftentimes, we fail….we give into temptation….we fall off the wagon, binge, gain a few pounds…fly off the handle or over-react…..and we beat ourselves up so bad that we feel like LOSERS….failures…..and give up hope completely. We forget how far we’ve come. We forget how blessed we are. We forget that we are WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL in spite of what we see.  Such a bad place to be “mentally and emotionally.”    One of the most important keys to successful change is to BELIEVE in yourself….your ability to change…..your determination to win…..your partnership with GOD…..and to walk in confidence, knowing that you are NOT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE….but you are heading in the right direction and you will get there. 

As I mentally prepare for these exciting weeks ahead, it will be so important for me to continually remind myself that I am blessed and empowered…. and to come to me myself as one who has been given an important mission to bring hope to others…one who has the privilege of sharing her story for the glory of God, so that I can be open to being used by God to help others.  It is important for you, too….to begin to see yourself in the same way. God has a plan for your life….He has blessed and empowered you….He has equipped you to be successful in your own journey to wellness. Doing something special for yourself…buying a new dress…getting a new haircut…..making time for yourself will certainly help!
My prayer and hope is that when we look in the mirror today…..and from here on in…..we see ourselves as a new creation….as happy, healthy, better.....(doesn’t even have to be thinner…just better)  people and that we see GOD in ourselves…so that others will see HIM in us too!  Be happy today…….Be kind…..Be blessed!  

Oh yes…and tell yourself that you are a winner!