Good Morning friends!
Many years ago there was a commercial on television for Dunkin Donuts
that depicted a man in the wee hours of the morning stumbling through his house
trying to get himself ready to get to work to begin the day. He was a baker and
kept saying, “Time to make the donuts” as he struggled to get out of the
house. That saying has stuck with me and
I often use it when I need to “get down to business” and get moving, even
though the word “donut” is taboo in my house these days.
Today is my first day back to work after a wonderful holiday
vacation and it’s time to get back into the routine of life, even though I
readily admit that I’d rather be somewhere else this morning. It’s a little
after 3:00 a.m. and although I’m very tired this morning, I know that it’s
‘time to make the donuts” and get back down to the business of life……regardless
of whether I want to or not. My time away was awesome and I returned home with
a joy that I never knew existed before and did/experienced many things that I
never dreamed possible. I will likely share more about this in the coming
weeks, but for now, I simply offer a prayer of gratitude to God for a wonderful
week and a future full of hope and love….and a renewed commitment to ‘do what I
need to do in order to have the life I want to have.”
We picked up many new members to this group over the
holidays, very likely because this is the time of year when many people make a
commitment to change their life.
Welcome! I hope you find this
group to be a place of support/encouragement. It is a privilege to share my
journey with you, and likewise, to be a part of yours
Some of you are starting again or recommitting to a life
changing plan. Some of you can’t even comprehend how different your life could
be because you don’t know what it is like to physically free from the burden of
weight or addiction, or emotionally free from the bondage of fear, sadness, or
despair. I know both….and I can tell you….that it is an incredible
experience….and, although it is very hard and you will want to give up many
times, the journey/effort/pain is worth it because life on the “other side” of
obesity is awesome! Getting there,
however, won’t be easy; in fact, it’s likely one of the hardest things you’re
going to do and will require you to make some really tough choices on a daily
basis. I can’t do it for you, but I can pledge to journey with you and remind
you that it is well worth the effort by sharing with you what my life is like
“on the other side” and assuring you that, like you, I have many days when I
struggle, get tired, want to quit, have to make some really hard choices and do
some things that I don’t want to do.
Today is one of those days. After 10 days of pure joy, I
have returned home and have so many things to do. It is currently 0 degrees
with a wind chill factor of 12 below zero and about 6-8 inches of snow on the
ground. I’m heading back to work and know that these next few weeks will be
very busy at work as students scramble to get registered before the semester
begins next Monday. I am enrolled in two college classes myself so will pick up
those additional responsibilities and will have about 15-20 hours of study time
required each week. In addition, I have some personal life issues to work out
and a lot of other things swirling around in my head. It all seems overwhelming
and the temptation to just say “forget it all” and sit in my pajamas in the
lazy boy and do nothing will creep in….likely quite often. It’s easier that way sometimes, isn’t
it? When something seems impossible,
will require sacrifice and effort, and will sometimes be more difficult that we
imagine, it’s tempting to just “do nothing” and give up. That’s exactly what I did for nearly 8 years
when I was faced with some tough challenges. It was easier to try to forget
about (or bury it) grief when my heart filled with the sadness of losing loved
ones. It was easier to pretend that everything was okay when my sense of
purpose and usefulness was tainted by job loss. It was easier to just exist and
wallow in hopelessness when my life was falling apart than it was to do
anything to change it. It was just easier to accept the current state of my
life as my destiny than it was to even dream about the possibility that things
could be different. WHY? Because it all
seemed too overwhelming. It seemed impossible that I would EVER walk again or
lose weight, let alone without surgery or some sort of miracle drug. It seemed like too much work and I didn’t
believe that it was even possible.
Also…. I didn’t have ANY IDEA of what life could/would be like…if I just
made a few little changes at a time. I
never imagined…not even in my wildest dreams….what it would feel like to walk
into a store…any store…and be able to buy something off the rack. I never
imagined what it would feel like to be able to walk without pain again….period.
I had forgotten the joy of being able to garage sale, swim, plant flowers, or play
with my nieces and nephews……to be physically able to do things that I used
to. I had forgotten what it felt like to
be free….from worry about the future; to be happy….really happy; to be a part
of things again instead of an outsider. I had given up HOPE because I had
forgotten what it was like to be happy….and because I had NO IDEA what it was
like to be an average size person. Without that vision…..or dream…..it was
easier to do NOTHING.
When I started my journey on March 1, 2011, I had no concept
of how my life would change. All I knew is that I didn’t want to live that way
anymore. I never even imagined how different life could/would be. I never
imagined the experiences that would come or the joy that would become a way of
life. I never dreamed that I would ride a bike, or climb a dune, or wear high
heels or walk without a mobility device. Certainly I never imagined that I
would be privileged to share my story in so many different ways. I never imagined that I would be strong
enough to change my life. I did,
however, see how losing weight changed others.
My sister had lost a lot of weight the year before and she had so much
energy. She bought a blow up kayak and I watched (from my wheeled walker) as
she laughed and joyfully launched her kayak into the lake and paddled away. I
envied her for her commitment…..was jealous for her joy…..and wallowed in my
own reality….but did nothing. WHY?
Because it seemed too overwhelming. It seemed impossible. It seemed like
too much work…..and it was easier to do nothing. As a result….well, you know….
I ended up over 400 pounds, unable to walk, and at the lowest point of my life.
My friends…if you are at a point in your life where you feel
hopeless and you can’t imagine your life being any different, I tell you that
YES….IT…..CAN! You can experience this
same joy….this same freedom….this same gratitude…..simply by making a few small
changes at a time. Nothing, however,
will ever change, unless you first believe it is possible, and then start
taking action. I’m not going to tell you
that it’s going to be easy, because it’s not. I’m not going to tell you that
you won’t want to quit, because you will. I’m not going to tell you that you
will never falter or fail, because you likely will. I will tell you, however,
that IT WILL BE SO WORTH IT…and YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER be the same!
No comments:
Post a Comment