A quick check in

Good Morning all.... Just a quick note to say hello and wish you all a wonderful weekend. I hope everyone had a great holiday and are peaceful today. I went shopping with my sister and nieces at about 10:30 p.m. Thursday night, came home and slept for 2 1/2 hours around 330 a.m. and then was back at it yesterday. Managed to get several gifts......but the BEST part of the trip was the super duper $1.00 clothing special  yesterday morning at the Goodwill!  I came home with 5 big bags of bargains....for $40.00 so I'll get to play "dress-up fashion diva wanna-be" when I return home!  When people ask me what motivates me to keep on track....well.....being able to shop AND buy clothes in a regular store (well, if you call thrift stores regular, but you know what I mean) as opposed to a mail-order catalog and NOT cry in the dressing room or go home depressed REALLY MOTIVATES me!  I had a great time yesterday but the body is aching today.  As they say...the spirit is willing...but the body is weak????

I'll catch up with you all later as things begin to settle down. In the meantime...be happy; be peaceful; and don't beat yourself up if you made choices this weekend that you regret. Just start all over!

Here are a couple of pictures from Thanksgiving at my sister's house. The first is my niece Amirah...and the other is my sister, Kelly.

Planning to stay on track for Thanksgiving

Good Morning!

Like many of you, I have found myself in the midst of yet another incredibly hectic and busy week. I know…I say that EVERY week! Hopefully, unlike you, I have discovered that the stress of the holiday week has left me a bit frazzled and in a bit of a whirlwind as I struggle to check things off my list to prepare for Thanksgiving and the festivities that come with it. In times like these, I have to continually remind myself that ‘The reason for the season” doesn’t necessarily just mean Christmas and shift my focus from one of chaos to gratitude. After all, the entire purpose of Thanksgiving is to celebrate the many blessings in life, NOT to create anxiety or allow irritability or frustration to cloud the festivities as I prepare to travel. Still, I’m overwhelmed with more things to do than time in the day, and I’ve found myself awake an hour earlier than usual (it’s 2 a.m.) just to get some things packed and some laundry done before work. I also recognize that the past couple of weeks have been emotionally charged with my friend’s surgery, the death of my cat, work stressors, and inclement weather so I’m being gentle and patient with myself…and others….as best I can. How’s it going for you all this week?

On Sunday, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for me and a friend because I will be heading to my sister’s later this week to celebrate the holiday with a large contingency of family members. This quiet, dinner-for-two, was a ‘rehearsal’ if you will, and gave me a chance to practice my willpower and test my commitment to stay on track. It worked…and I managed to not only cook/prepare a big dinner, complete with treats and desserts, but also to resist giving in to the temptation to eat them. YES, my friends, it IS possible to enjoy a nice meal and still stay on track. 

So…you might be wondering…what did I eat?  Well…. turkey, in-and-of-itself, is a safe food…provided I don’t eat the skin and stick with the white meat. I also made mashed potatoes, but used unsweetened almond milk instead of whole milk to mash them, and took a small amount out before I added the butter to the mix. I ate a couple of spoonsful with just a small amount of gravy. When I say SMALL amount, I mean I use my fork to dip in the gravy and just drizzle a bit on top. 

My friend is not fond of vegetables, sweet potatoes, or squash, so I could prepare those dishes in a way that made them delicious to me, but limited the calories.  Both the butternut squash and sweet potato is easy for me because I just microwave them and then season them with sugar-free maple syrup (only 20 calories for ½ cup…that is AWESOME), salt, a bit of Splenda and some cinnamon. I love both of these dishes…and prepare them often this time of year. I also made cucumbers and sour cream…but used just two tablespoons or so of non-fat sour cream mixed with my own salad dressing that I create out of balsamic vinegar, some spices, Splenda, and sugar free raspberry vinaigrette dressing that I can get at Meijer/Walmart etc…..only 5 calories a serving.  I make the dressing using water instead of oil and keep it in a jar in the refrigerator. I use this dressing for coleslaw, salad, or cucumber salad, and always carry a small pill-size container with me whenever I eat out. Salad dressings will add unnecessary calories to a salad very quickly so be careful of them. I also ate only about 2 bites of stuffing (just stove top…not homemade).

Like most people during the holidays, I ate until I was full, but unlike many, I felt good about my choices and didn’t really stray too far. While my total calories for the meal was likely a bit higher than a typical Sunday dinner, I was pleased that I was more than satisfied and didn’t feel a bit deprived. If you FEEL deprived and have a “poor me” attitude, then you will quickly sabotage your own journey.  Remember…you CAN eat anything you want; you just are CHOOSING not to. That mindset is key to success because it puts YOU in control of your own destiny.

What I DIDN’T EAT was:  deviled eggs, cookies, shrimp, biscuits, or dessert, or more than 2 spoons of potatoes/gravy/stuffing.  Because it was just dinner-for-two, I didn’t need to make a bunch of appetizers or munchies. At my sister’s later this week, there will be an entire table of appetizers, cheese-crackers, chips & dips, finger foods, etc. to tempt me. This is a danger zone for me and I could easily blow my entire calorie allowance if I gathered around the kitchen with the rest of the family and tasted “this or that” and sampled many of the treats there. This type of mindless-enjoying the conversation-catching up with family members-eating could sabotage my journey very quickly if I allowed myself to participate. A plate of some of those appetizers (my favorite WAS those little sausages wrapped in biscuit dough) have as many calories…or more…than my dinner plate. My strategy will be to “STAY AWAY” and play with the children present, watch the football game, or browse the Black Friday sale papers…anything to keep me out of the kitchen. I’ll also have some cut up fruit just in case.

This will be my 4^th Thanksgiving on my journey. I have gotten through the first three without slipping up…even a little…and I am planning NOW to do the same this year. Just because I choose to stay on track, does not mean that I will judge your decisions in any way. Many of you will elect to enjoy the festivities and just get back on plan on Friday. That choice is YOURS to make; not mine because your journey is just that: YOUR journey. Please do not feel badly about your decision to eat/not eat on the holiday.  The day is about GRATITUDE, family & friends, so any stress, anxiety, or guilt about food really can ruin the day. Just be aware, in case you doubt that it is possible, that YES, you can enjoy the day and still manage to stay true to your eating plan.

So… in a nutshell….here are a few on the tips that I will use to keep on track:

Watch out for toppings, dressings, and condiments. If you are going to indulge in traditional foods, use low calorie/low fat salad dressings, non-calorie butter spray, sugar free syrup in recipes, non-fat sour cream or whipped cream. You can cut calories just by substituting things in recipes…and chances are that nobody will even notice.

Keep yourself busy in conversation or looking at sale papers to minimize mindless eating BEFORE or AFTER dinner.

Fill your plate with things you can’t get at other times of the year… Do you really need that bread/bun or chips and dip? Skip those and spend your calories on things that are only served on holidays. If you’re going to indulge, try just 2 or 3 bites, instead of a regular size serving. 

If you are asked to bring a dish to pass, bring something that you can eat guilt-free so you know for sure that there will be something there that is low calorie. When someone insists that you try their dish…simple say, WOW…that looks great and smells delicious, but I really need to stay on my plan, but thanks anyway. I’m sure it’s WONDERFUL though. Don’t let someone ‘guilt’ you into straying off track.

Stay away from the appetizers and desserts.  I will have cut up fruit, Greek yogurt, a fiber one bar, and a package of baked rice cake snacks with me so that IF…and only IF… I feel like I need to eat before/after dinner, I will have some healthy options to choose from. 

Consider making a low calorie dessert option…even if it’s just for one….like a baked apple or any of those pumpkin recipes that are out there.

Bring a steam-fresh microwavable package of veggies with you. It takes only a few minutes and you will have an entire plate full of veggies WITHOUT the cream toppings or cheese sauce. Don’t be afraid to bring your own food choices. If your family members really support you on your journey then they will not be offended.  If they are…well….then…that is THEIR problem, not yours.  Remember, the day is about giving THANKS….not food….and our commitment to our journey is certainly something to be grateful for!

Mostly….be mindful of what you eat….but more important…WHY you are eating. If someone gets up for a 2^nd helping, or to get dessert, and you feel ‘peer-pressure” to join them, but aren’t even hungry….well then….it’s not a good choice.  Also…be gentle with yourself and remember that Friday is a new day. If you indulge on Thanksgiving and give in to temptation, don’t allow it to become an excuse to blow your plan ALL WEEKEND! Get back on track on Friday morning and plan ahead for eating out while shopping on Black Friday.

It is POSSIBLE to survive the holidays without sacrificing your journey. You CAN still enjoy the day without giving into temptation….but the decision is ultimately YOURS, not mine.  I know what I intend to do….and I’m planning to keep on track. What about you?

Thinking about my dad today

Good Morning!

  Thank you for your kind thoughts yesterday as I faced the death of my cat, Camper. As I expected, the vet determined that the best course of action would be to put her to rest because she had multiple issues going on. I never realized how she had sick she was because until a few days ago, she never made a sound, but she did sleep a lot in recent weeks. I have been asking myself since yesterday how she could become so sick and I never knew it, and dealing with a bit of guilt as I wondered if I could have done something different. Yesterday was certainly a tough day, but today is a new one and I will try to shift my thoughts and focus from sadness to gratitude.

Today, November 21^st, is another day of remembrance from me, and for the past week or so I have been thinking about my biological dad, Phillip. He died on this day 43 years ago, and even though so many years have passed, I STILL find myself thinking about him every year when this day comes. Although I was just a little girl when he died and God later sent other wonderful men (my stepdad, Tony & priest, Fr. Sauter) to fill the void after his death, I have a deep love and gratitude to the man who gave me life.  He taught me many things in those short eight years and I can see how his love and presence in my life shaped me into the woman I am today.  Over the years, I have been able to replace the sadness and guilt I felt for many years about his death with the gratitude I feel today that God gave me a wonderful father for those short years, and that the life lessons and love I learned from him continue to influence me today.

While I recognize that I much of what I know about my dad was learned from other family members and the stories they told/continue to tell about him, I do have some very wonderful memories of my own. Those memories, along with the ones I’ve gathered from others over the years, give me joy and comfort, but also strength on my journey, as I remember how he handled his own journey of illness.  Today, I give thanks to God for the gift of my dad as I reflect on all those things he taught me in our short time together, namely an unshakeable faith IN SPITE of struggle; the hope that things would be different; a desire to celebrate the journey; and a love that death could not diminish.

My dad had rheumatic fever when he was a child and spent many weeks in the hospital, but recovered and eventually returned to school, got a job, and married my mother. No one knew, however, that his heart was damaged by that earlier illness, and he had his first heart attack when I was only one month old. He spent weeks at a time in the hospital, had open heart surgery, and several other issues in the next seven years before a stroke/heart attack took his life. In the midst of those struggles, however, he was able to return to work at Chrysler and my parents added two more children to our family. Things would be okay for a while; then another set-back and months in the hospital; and so forth. He had open heart surgery on my 4^th birthday and he was hospitalized for several weeks at a time at other times during my childhood, at a time when kids weren’t allowed in the hospital.  I certainly felt his absence and missed him terribly, and yet… I always knew he loved me…even when I couldn’t see him or kiss him goodnight. Throughout his years of illness, pain, and suffering, he never lost faith in God. In fact, his faith was unshakeable, and I have vivid memories of the later years when we had a hospital bed in the house of him reading scripture, praying the rosary, and taking about God. During those last couple of years before he died, my priest friend Fr. Sauter was assigned to our parish in Rockwood, and I remember him coming to our home to visit my dad, pray with him, and bring him communion. Of course, I was always in the midst of all that and it was then…when I was just 5 years old, that Father Sauter and I first became friends.  I learned compassion and faith from both of these men and would later be privileged to care for Father Sauter and be at his bedside when he died, in much the same way that he did for my dad. God had a plan! 

No matter HOW bad things got; no matter how much my dad suffered or how bleak the situation looked, my dad never lost his faith in God and always had hope that things would get better….but knew that no matter what happened…..God would always be there. That faith, taught to me by my parents, helped me through some pretty tough days…and continues to guide me on my journey today.  That same faith kept me alive in those years of darkness 10 years ago when my life hit rock-bottom, even though I had lost hope back then and almost succumbed to despair. That same faith keeps me going EVERY SINGLE DAY on this journey, and even though, like all of you, I have days when it is tested; I am weary and feel burdened; and doubt creeps in; I am always able to find my way back to the assurance that I am not alone on this journey….no MATTER how hard it gets; how much I want to give up; or how bad/sad the days are. Certainly, like yesterday, I have my share of sadness.

Another thing my dad taught me was to CELEBRATE the life you have. Even when he was sick, I still remember joy in my home. Christmas was a really big deal when I was a young child. The outside of our house was always all lit up with lights and holiday decorations and family celebrations for the holidays and other times was a priority. Earlier this week I put up my Christmas tree in my own house and I carefully unpacked a silly, beat-up, Styrofoam Santa Claus face that has been part of EVERY Christmas for the past 50 years, as well as a plastic Santa figurine dressed in a dingy velvet Santa suit that my grandparents purchased for my first Christmas. Both of these old “pieces of junk” as others have called them are incredibly precious to me and remind me of the importance of CELEBRATING…..life and family…even when it/they are not perfect.

Holidays were important, but so were ordinary days, and family meals/gatherings/picnics/weddings etc….even when he was not feeling well; even when he knew his days were likely numbered; even when he could no longer participate like others who were present.  A few hours before he died, he played a marble game called Aggravation with my mom and grandparents for a little while before he could no longer do so and needed to rest. I remember that day like it was yesterday and it taught me to enjoy life as best as I can; to never give up trying; and celebrate the gift of life….regardless of how bleak it might seem.  That principle guided my journey and taught me the importance of celebrating the small victories of my journey….like fitting into a smaller size; walking my first quarter mile without a cane/walker/ getting under the 300 pound mark for the first time, etc.  Even though I was/am not where I want to be, I recognized that there was still/are many things to celebrate. Life is a gift…to be enjoyed NOW…regardless of what the scale says!

Finally, he taught me love… a love for his children and family, but mostly a love for my mother. Those two had a love affair like none I’ve ever known.  They married much later in life than others during that time period (they were 25) and their short 9 year marriage had much heartache and sadness, but produced three children, and was strong and loving. When I was in my teens, my mother showed me a very large scrap book, overflowing with cards and letters that the two exchanged. Cards for every occasion…or none at all….expressing his love and gratitude to my mother for her presence in his life; letters expressing his desire to come home from the hospital and how much they missed each other; and offering thanks to God for the gift of each other. WOW….although I’ve been in several relationships over the years and have been blessed with the love of others, I have yet to understand/know a love like that. Perhaps, their love was a rare gift from God to help them through what would be turn out to be a relationship that had more than its share of sorrow and heartbreak.  Still….my dad taught me that, first, THAT kind of love is possible, second, that love does not depend on physically being present and carries on beyond the grave, and most important, that love….not just romantic love but love for ALL people and in all forms, is a gift from God and I had better be sure to let those I love know it because life is very short.

As I sit here in the darkness, thinking about my dad, I am so grateful that I was blessed with him for eight years, and that the things I learned from him continue to motivate and influence my journey today.  I encourage you, when you have time to think about your own journey, to try to identify those characteristics and traits you need to succeed in your own life-changing quest.  In my option, while physical things….like exercise, diet, support groups, etc….are important parts of your ability to succeed…emotional/mental/spiritual traits are even more critical to draw from because there will come a time when you will not be able to exercise due to age/illness or loss of desire/motivation, and there will be times when your eating habits will be challenged or abandoned for a celebration or whatever.  There will be times when you will want to quit and will struggle to find the motivation you need to keep going or start over. You will have some difficult days when temptation is overwhelming.

 During those times when you feel hopeless, sad, or experience struggle; when grief or illness threaten your peace of mind; when days are difficult for whatever reason (maybe even as ‘what some may call as insignificant as losing a pet) it will be those internal characteristics that keep you going and will help you get through the day. It will be FAITH…HOPE….LOVE….that keeps you going and encourages you to start over.

What characteristics/ past experiences/memories do you have like that…..Stubbornness….determination…..an unshakeable faith….and so forth….that has guided you through life thus far and has molded you into the person you are today? Who taught you those things?  Those things are far more important to your success than a pair of sneakers (although sneakers are pretty important!!!)  because, long after your sneakers wear out or your treadmill quits working, those characteristics will keep you going.  Another important thing to reflect on is “What are YOU teaching others by the way you live/act/think?  I want to be a better person today….because I spent some time thinking about what a wonderful man I am blessed to say is my “dad.”   

Have a great day today….

It doesn't have to be like this forever

You can see clips like this....others may tell you things like this.....but until you believe it.....they are just words. Believing, hoping, and trusting that life can be different.... is such an important step in the process of changing one's life....but it is often the hardest part.  My hope today is that each of you that are doubting or hurting in some way today may come to REALLY BELIEVE that miracles are possible....and then....that you find the strength to take the steps necessary to change your reality.  

One of the most important pieces for me on my journey was to recognize that the victory and freedom was won for me long ago on the cross....and that GOD can set you free from all that weighs you down.  Sending good thoughts today to you....not sure WHICH one or more of you....but I think that there is someone out there right now that needs to be assured that Things do not have to be this way.....and you CAN change your reality.  Hang in there....