We can shine brighter on cloudy days

It was very dark on Wednesday morning when my friends picked me up for the fly-fishing trip. The drive took us through some very remote and rural areas and the darkness was even more noticeable. At one point on the trip, I noticed a very bright, rather large light on the horizon. It was too early for sunrise and I wasn’t sure what was causing the brightness. Hmmm….I wondered. I asked my friends where they thought the glow was coming from as they had traveled this route many times before. Cathy said, “Oh those are the lights of the city many miles away. You can really notice them this morning because it’s so cloudy and the lights are bouncing off the clouds.”   Made sense I suppose, and because I have lived in the “woods” for so long and am so far away from any city, I guess I had forgotten what that looked like.  I didn’t really think much more about it, though, because my mind was cluttered with anticipation about the fishing adventure. That is, until yesterday.

I had a meeting at the other campus yesterday afternoon so I had to make the drive down to Mt. Pleasant. It was a very dreary, rainy day, but as I made my way, I noticed how vibrant the colors of the trees were against the dark, gray sky. Some of them looked like they were on fire. It really was spectacular considering we are at the “past peak” point in the autumn color display.  Hmmm…… I began to think and ponder.  Most people always think of taking “color tours” on bright sunny days because the sun bouncing off the trees is very beautiful. I am no exception, but that’s twice in the last 2 days that God pointed out something to me in nature.

 I wondered what He was trying to teach me….and as I pondered a bit, I began to think about my own life and those times when it was filled with “darkness”, “rain”, “stormy weather”…..heartache, pain, sickness, grief.  Could it be that it is in “those times” when we have the opportunity to ‘shine’ the most….to show our ‘true colors” …or “rise to the occasion and do what we have to do” if you will?  Could it be in those times of difficulty, temptation, sadness…..those times when we struggle and think God has abandoned us….when God’s love shines the brightest?  I thought about all the times when God sent people in my life…to help, encourage, support, pray for and love me, just at a time when I needed it most. I wondered how many times I didn’t notice it….because I wasn’t looking for it….because I was looking for a bright sunny day…..because I was concentrating and focusing only on the “darkness” or the “storm?”  I began to do some self-reflection and I asked myself:

How do I react when I have a bad day; do I take it out on those around me?

How do I handle days when I don’t feel well; do I complain?

How do I handle temptation; do I justify and rationalize my way through; do I give up and quit because it’s too hard…or do I remain strong and allow my determination for a healthier life to win?

How do I handle disappointment; do I pout and act childish?

How do I behave when something good happens to others; do I share in their joy or become jealous/envious?

There is so much room for improvement in my life. Thank God that each day is a new opportunity to do better!

I wish I could tell you that every day since I have begun this journey 2 ½ years ago has been easy. I wish I could tell you that I wasn’t tempted to give up; that I didn’t want to quit. I wish I could tell you that it was easy to sit and watch my family eat cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve or pass around those little hotdogs wrapped in dough at the campfire. I wish I could tell you that I didn’t go through struggles with relationships when some in my life became jealous. I wish I could tell you that I don’t have to make the decision….EVERY….SINGLE….DAY….to keep going, to keep motivated.  I can’t.  But I can tell you, that IT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY WORTH IT!!!!  

Clouds, rain, darkness…..disappointment, hurt, pain, sickness, temptation and failure are a part of life. We can’t escape it……but from this day forward…. I am going to try to look at it in a different way. I am going to try, when those ‘not so great days” arrive, to remember the lights of that unknown city….shining brighter than usual because it was “cloudy and dark”…..and the glory of those autumn trees….glowing brighter than ever….because it was raining…..and I am going to look a little bit harder to see God’s presence. Even more important, I am going to try to let my “true colors” shine a bit brighter…on ALL DAYS….so that it might light up others’ lives when they are experiencing the tough times.

Don’t give up if you are facing a rainy day. Don’t quit because you had a bad day. Don’t throw in the towel if you went off track or gained a few pounds. Don’t get discouraged if others are losing weight and you are not. Don’t despair if you struggled or ate a donut for breakfast….Look for the light....and KEEP TRYING!  This is your time to SHINE! You can do it. YOU CAN…and YOU WILL….CHANGE YOUR LIFE…..one day….one thought….one step….one meal….at a time!

 

Join my Facebook group: We Can Change Our Lives or visit my website: theresaborawski.net if you want to hear more of my story!

A good day fishing!

 

What an AWESOME day yesterday! I have so many thoughts rambling around in my head this morning and trying to put the excitement and feelings about my first fly-fishing trip into words is not an easy task, even for a “wordy” girl me.  I’m guessing it will take several days to capture all that I’m thinking.

The day started out very early. My friends Cathy and Ken Zimmerman, very experienced fishermen and long-time friends of the charter captain, Dave Roller, were the ones that invited me along on this trip. They picked me up in the wee hours of the morning and we made our way towards Ludington to Dave’s house. It was about a 1 ½ - 2 hr. drive in the dark. Once we got to Dave’s, we loaded up our supplies in his van, dressed in our waders, and drove the boat to the river to launch. It was still dark when we set out “up the river” to one of Dave’s favorite spots in hopes that we might get lucky and catch a few of the salmon on their way upstream to spawn. We didn’t have high expectations of catching a lot of fish yesterday because according to Dave, it was  the final day or two of the salmon run and a week or so too early to begin fishing for steelhead. But, honestly, I didn’t care whether we caught fish or not….I was more excited about the experience and thrill of doing something “outside my comfort zone” that I had never done before.  This definitely was a new experience for me!

It started to rain just as we anchored the boat, and it rained for a good portion of the day, sometimes just misting, but often quite heavily. The temps were in the 40’s and 50’s, and with the rain on and off, it was a wet, sometimes cold day, but we were prepared for the weather. At one point, I had water dripping down my face and my hair was soaked, even though I had on a raincoat. Surprisingly, I didn’t care!  The bottom half of me was dry though because I had on thick Neoprene waders. What an experience that was! Just getting INTO them took a lot of effort because they fit tight like a wet-suit and are very heavy; definitely not flattering in any way, but they sure kept me warm….and dry. They also gave me a sense of security because I am so terrified of snakes and other things in the water and I knew that nothing could get through those waders. I had absolutely NO FEAR about walking around in the river or climbing over a big slimy log to get to the bank….or even peeing in the woods!  Getting in and out of them….well, that’s ANOTHER story completely!  J

Once we got settled and ready to fish, Dave rigged up the lines, poured us a cup of coffee, and proceeded to teach me how to cast and handle the rod/reel. I’ve fished since I was a child, but not like this, so I had no idea what to do and was eager to learn. He was patient and kind as he showed me….over and over again…how to flick my wrist to get the line out and how to bring it back in. There is definitely an art to this sport. It took me several attempts and I made some mistakes along the way as I learned, but I didn’t give up and eventually got the hang of it. He pointed out the things I was doing wrong and showed me how to correct them. He was an awesome teacher….one of the nice things about going on a charter trip!  My friends are quite experienced and knew exactly what to do.

No one was catching anything but Dave pointed out the occasional “ripple in the waves” that indicated that there was still a lingering fish or two making the run, so we remained hopeful.  Cathy finally hooked one and the fun began.  Holy smokes……what a thrill. I’ve never caught anything bigger than a keeper size pike or bass before and I’m used to pan fishing so I had no idea what to expect with a big 20+ pound salmon. It was amazing. That fish was jumping out of the water…running upstream….putting up a terrible fight and causing Cathy to work really hard to get it in. Dave grabbed the net and jumped over the side of the boat. The fish slapped and splashed and jumped as Dave struggled to net him. Oh my….what excitement!  I’ve never seen anything like it before….and suddenly, I forgot about the rain and cold. I was “in” for the long haul and SO GLAD that I didn’t give in to my fear and apprehension about accepting this invitation.

The rain stopped briefly and I decided to venture into the river to try that approach. Once again…another thrill….and definitely a first for me. I’m used to canoeing and playing in the river, but not in 40 degree temps or a pair of waders, knowing there are monster size fish with BIG TEETH swimming around. The heavy waders kept me warm and the feel of the current added to the fun.  Finally, my turn came….and I began the fight of my life to land my first fish. The fish took me close to the boat….where that big salmon Cathy caught was on the stringer….so I had that big fish jumping and flailing around at my feet….and another one on my line. My fish jumped and fought and jumped some more. I managed to get him all the way up out of the water and just as Dave tried to net him, he spit out the fly and managed to get away.  I was a bit bummed, but I think Dave was more disappointed. He assured me that I had done everything right in getting him that far and sometimes…well, oftentimes, this is what happens.  Honestly… I didn’t even care, because I had the “experience” that I went out there for. I was happy as a lark!

We fished for several more hours at that spot, then Dave fired up the grill and began to prepare lunch. I had suspected that they would be grilling so I came prepared with a couple of chicken hot-dogs which he gladly added to the big burgers that he made. No one took offense to my choice of food. I ate those 2 hotdogs….minus bun…and some yogurt and later a pear, and managed to stay on track. Being prepared (bringing my own food/snacks), and being willing to be ‘different” (I explained that my lunch choices were in no way a rejection of his hospitality), have been important keys in my success along the way. YES, I could have eaten a burger and chips with the rest of them BECAUSE I was on a special trip…..but if I justified it “just this one time”, then tomorrow it would be easier to justify it again.  After all….Saturday is Sweetest Day… I could each some chocolate….Sunday is Oktoberfest….I could have a brat and sauerkraut……Next week is Halloween…..so forth.  See what I mean????  It’s much easier for me just to plan ahead and not find excuses to make exceptions for ANY reason.

We fished the same spot for a bit longer after lunch and the rain started again. No one was catching anything so we decided to move to another spot. Again, no luck. Our last spot was a place referred to as the “sanctuary” because of all the logs and debris. Dave said that sometimes there will be a few fish “holed up” in the deep areas there but it is very difficult to fish there because of the downed trees. I let Dave and Ken do the fishing there. I was content to sit back and watch. We had been fishing for nearly 8 hours and the only fish landed was Cathy’s. Mine was the only other one that even came close to the net. I didn’t feel bad about not catching more because if the captain and the experienced fishermen weren’t catching them, nobody was likely to. Dave takes clients out 7 days of week, rain or shine, and he wasn’t really optimistic today. Ken and Cathy went out on Labor Day and said that fish were jumping all over and they were catching them faster than they could net them. Apparently, that’s what it’s like early in the spawning season. Perhaps I’ll go again next year.

But…. I saw a few  fish jump, enjoyed the INCREDIBLE autumn color, spent time with friends, learned new things, and just had an incredible experience!  LIFE IS SO GOOD….and to think… I almost MISSED IT because I was afraid to try something new!

SO…..in terms of my/our personal journey…how does this relate? This is what I learned:

1.       Be willing to learn from the expert fisherman….(read nutrition books, follow successful dieters or recovering addicts, learn about calories, talk to others who have been on this journey, etc.)

2.       Realize that no one can do it for you….but others can help encourage and teach you.

3.       Be willing to make mistakes along the way and don’t get discouraged when you do. Try again!

4.       Don’t give up when it rains or is cold (it gets hard or you are tempted)….Keep fishing!

5.       Realize that there are going to be times when you do everything right…..and you still don’t catch a fish (see results on the scales).  Even the “pros” have plateaus!

6.       Fill your boat with others who are ‘doing the same thing as you’ and don’t be intimidated by the fact that they are more experienced than you (get a great support team of others who are on the same journey….like us!)

7.       If you don’t catch fish (or see results)…be willing to  move the boat and try something new (alter your eating or exercise plan)

8.       Finally…ENJOY THE RIDE!  Be open to all the new experiences and new sights along the way and focus less on the “number” of fish you catch (pounds you lose) and more on the journey.

 

As I said…WHAT AN AWESOME DAY!

I'm going fly-fishing in the morning!

 

Tomorrow is the day of the big fly-fishing trip. I’ve never been fly fishing before so this is a totally new, “out of my comfort zone”, experience. I’m both apprehensive and excited at the same time.  When I made that New Year’s resolution about “trying new things, going new places, and pushing myself beyond my comfort zone”, I had no idea all the many new things that would happen to me this year; A plane ride to NYC, TV shows, speaking engagements, riding a Harley, climbing a dune, riding a bike…..WOW….what an incredible, adventurous year for a “prefer to stay at home – very comfortable being an observer-somewhat sheltered” kind of girl like me!  NOW….in less than 24 hours I’m going fly-fishing with a charter captain and some dear friends. I even get to wear those chest high wader things. I’m not sure what to do with them or how on earth I’m ever going to WALK in them, but I get to wear them! J  From what I’ve seen on the website for the charter captain, I might even catch a fish…..a BIG fish!  They fish for salmon and other fish that can be 20+ pounds.  Oh boy!

I have always loved to fish…..well, perhaps it’s better described as “feeding them my worms” as I usually only fish for bluegill and pan fish. Occasionally, I’ll put on a rubber worm and try to land a bass or a pike, but I rarely get anything big enough to keep. Until this summer, I used to fish with my brother and his family on a pretty regular basis, but ironically, this summer I didn’t even go fishing once! It used to be something that I enjoyed a lot, but it probably has more to do with the fact that it was one of VERY FEW activities that I COULD do in the summer. My brother used to help get my wheeled walker on the boat, or on good days, I could use just the cane, and I’d just sit there and fish. Even an obese, immobile girl could do that much, but it was a chore just to get from the car to the dock. By the time I got to the boat, just about all of my energy was drained. Not anymore! Now I’m going fly-fishing….at least once, anyway!

I have to admit, however, that as excited as I am about the new experience, I’m also a bit….well, actually, more than a bit…A LOT, apprehensive. When my friends invited me about a month ago, I immediately said, “I can’t do that…I’ve never done that…How am I going to pee in the woods….How am I going to get out of the boat….What if….How….But…..I’m not sure….I don’t know.” I have changed my mind so many times about this trip and almost convinced myself that I COULD NEVER do that.  “Old Theresa” has reared her ugly head once again and almost convinced me to give up this “once in a life-time (maybe)” opportunity. 

Whenever “Old Theresa” used to get invited anywhere, this type of thinking always occurred, and finally “she” convinced me to just stay home. Eventually, the invitations quit coming and I was content…or so I thought…to stay home and go to bed with a bag of chips.  Part of this fear/apprehension/anxiety came from the reality of my life as a 400 pound woman who couldn’t hardly walk.  EVERY single thing I did had to be thought out and I had to have a plan.  “How was I going to get there…..where would I park….what does the venue look like….will there be tables or booths….will they have an amigo cart….would the chairs have arms…..would I be able to do it….how would my RA pain be that day…..what would I wear……would I know anyone there.” The list was enormous.  I used to have to think so much about all of those issues. If you are/were obese, you’ve been there and you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.  If you are not, this may be the first time you’ve even considered how difficult it is for those that are extremely overweight.  Just imagine the humiliation if you broke someone’s lawn chair or couldn’t fit into a booth at a restaurant.

Life is not like that anymore for me, but the memories are always lurking in the back of my mind because that way of life could come back if I don’t continue to stay focused and motivated. Since losing my weight, I no longer really have to think about furniture, stairs, mobility issues or clothing. I do, however, ALWAYS have to consider food, and plan accordingly.  I also have to be mindful that my Rheumatoid Arthritis has a mind of its own and flares come and go without warning. For tomorrow’s trip, I have already planned to bring a small cooler. I know that they are going to have a ‘shore breakfast’ and “grilled riverside lunch” but I don’t know what will be served. Yes, I know, I could just eat whatever is served for this one day…but I choose not to. Instead, I’ll bring yogurt, fruit, protein bars, and other healthy options…just in case!  I’ll have enough to worry about without being concerned about food.  After all…. I still have to decide “what to wear” underneath those big rubber waders!  AND…the more pressing issue…..how am I going to go to the bathroom in the woods/water/waders???  J  Stay tuned! I likely won’t be posting tomorrow as I’m being picked up at 3:30 am and expect to be gone all day and into the evening. I’m sure, however, that I’ll have quite a FISH TALE to tell you on Thursday!   That is, if I don’t show up on “Funniest Home Videos” or the news for falling out of the boat first! 

 

Make it a great day everyone….and for a moment….just IMAGINE what kind of experiences you are going to enjoy….now or in the future when you reach your goal.  Don’t give up!

Do something today that will yield results in the spring

 

 

Hello everybody! I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was quite eventful, but none of it planned. I finally went to the doctor on Thursday to get some medicine for an infection that has been lingering. As I mentioned before, I stopped to check on a friend on Thursday evening and shared about the skunk incident. What a mess! His house still reeks of the aroma. Phew!  I took the advice of my boss and decided to stay home on Friday to allow the medicine to work and to try to get some rest. It was a good idea, but resting never seems to be part of my routine. I definitely am sleep deprived, but no matter what I do, I still wake up at a ridiculously early hour. This habit will come in handy later this week when my friends pick me up for my Fly Fishing Adventure at the wee hour of 3:30 am!  Yikes!  (more about THAT big trip later this week).

What was supposed to be a day to rest and allow the medication to do its job turned into a day of all sorts of unexpected events. The neighbor shot a deer and needed some help hanging it up in a tree, my friend had an allergic reaction to some medication and had hands that doubled in size and were covered with an intensely itchy rash, and to top it off, on Friday evening, his son (the one that took me for my first Harley ride this summer) paid a “surprise” visit from Florida! He flew in for an extended weekend. This was a complete shock and it was great to see him, even if I didn’t feel well. I went home and went to bed, but I’m sure he enjoyed his visit with his dad on Friday night.

Saturday was a gorgeous fall day. The sun was warm and bright and the leaves are just about at peak color now. Many of them have already fallen on the ground, but the ones still on the trees are glorious. I was able to enjoy the view on the way to church on Sunday and later Sunday afternoon when I took my friend to Urgent Care for that allergic reaction. I spent a few hours on Saturday afternoon putting the yard furniture away, emptying the fountain for the winter, and moving some of the pots and yard decorations to the sheds. It was bittersweet….because it really was my admission that the gardening season has almost ended, but at least I was beginning to feel better.  

I need to buy some tulip and daffodil bulbs to plant. I always enjoy the sight of those glorious harbingers of spring, but I never seem motivated to plant them in the fall. I suppose it’s because I’m impatient and want instant results now. The idea of  doing work and investing in something TODAY that won’t produce results until spring isn’t appealing,  but it still is important if I want those spring flowers.

In a sense, that’s what we are doing now in our life, right?  We sometimes become impatient with ourselves on our journey to better health because we don’t see results RIGHT AWAY.  We think….”hey, I worked out…I followed my eating plan this week…I turned down that 2^nd piece of pizza….I should lose 10 pounds this week, right?” and when it DOESN’T happen…we get discouraged and give up.  Sound familiar? Too often we expect things to happen “overnight” when in reality we know that true, lasting results come from changing one’s life…not from changing one’s habits for a few days.  When I was actively trying to lose weight, there were days when I would get discouraged. During those times, I’d have to remind myself that I didn’t get to be 400 pounds in 6 months and I wouldn’t get to be 200 pounds in 6 months either. It took me almost 2 years to lose the weight and in all honestly, those 2 years were SO MUCH EASIER than keeping it off. Don’t get discouraged…..Take a lesson from the tulips:  What you do NOW…TODAY…THIS MINUTE…(yes, throw the other half of that donut/cookie/candy bar away)….will yield results….in the spring perhaps! By next May, you could be 15 (or more) pounds lighter; you could be celebrating 6 months of sobriety; you could be celebrating your “half-year anniversary” of kicking a habit”; you could be walking a mile when today you can only walk the length of your driveway. Maybe you could be going out to lunch with someone that you are currently “at odds” with because you are harboring resentment, anger, or unforgiveness.  Go ahead….plant some bulbs this week…(in a pot if necessary due to climate issues where you live)…and make healthy choices with your life today…and by the time those flowers bloom in the spring….You could be celebrating your success – whatever that may mean to you.  I think I better stop and buy some bulbs myself!

I’ll post more later as time allows. Have a good day!!!