Gosh, what an exciting week it has been with the speaking
engagements and my fly-fishing trip. I was happy to see the weekend arrive
because I was planning all week on shopping for my flower and vegetable plants
to begin the gardening season. The
weather didn’t really cooperate with the planting part because we had another
frost/freeze warning for last night, but I did venture out to town to begin the
first of many trips to the nursery. Notice how I said many? It often takes me several trips…and just “one
or two more plants” to complete the planting…..but that “one or two more plants”
usually turns into several. Only a fellow gardener would know what I mean by
that. My fellow dieters would likely understand if I phrased it “I’ll just have
ONE more bite, well maybe two….and before long, the whole bag of chips or cookies
is gone.” In any case, I found it a bit
crazy that my pool is up, filled, and ready to go, but yesterday I was shopping
for flowers with gloves on…and I could see my breath! Michigan weather……sigh.......but there is
absolutely NOTHING I can do about the weather, so it’s one of those daily
reminders that God gives me that life is not about
fretting/worrying/complaining about those things that we cannot control, but
rather being grateful and focusing on those things that we CAN control….such as
our behavior, thoughts, and attitudes.
Although my plants will likely live in the garage for a few
more days, I did manage to spend a bit of time between the raindrops putzing
around the yard and pulling weeds. For those of you that are new to the group, last
summer I put in several new perennial gardens. I am not a big-time gardener by
any means and my yard is certainly not a “Better Homes and Gardens” type, but I
do love flowers and plants. When I was at the lowest point of my life (over 400
pounds and unable to walk more than a few steps) I was unable to do much in the
yard. A few flower pots and the perennials planted by the previous owner of my
home was about the extent of it, but that wasn’t always the case. When I was teaching
in the Catholic School, I had the summers off and had a lot of beautiful
flowers. Last year was a true joy for me
to be able to play in the dirt, dig new gardens by hand, haul rocks and mulch,
and see my yard come alive for the first time in many years. There is something incredibly intoxicating
about seeing something come to fruition…something that you nurtured…..something
that you planted that you waited ever so patiently to see blossom…..something
that sometimes had to withstand very harsh elements like a hail storm or
late/early frost, but somehow in spite of it…..still bloomed and was beautiful. SO MUCH LIKE OUR JOURNEY and the overwhelming
joy that comes from seeing progress for one’s hard work and effort.
It doesn't really matter whether you are just beginning your journey or
have been working on your life changes for many years; we are all at the same
place every spring. Even those “perennial” gardens….those plants that have been
there for years and years….still need careful attention, pruning, watering and
nurturing to grow. It takes work….watering….weeding….and favorable weather (or
God’s intervention) to turn a seedling, root, bulb…whatever….into a beautiful
plant or flower. Likewise, it takes a lot of effort, patience, and God’s grace
for us to grow into all that God wants us to be, and to have strong roots so
that we can stand up to the temptation and harsh conditions that life sometimes
throws at us. No matter what stage we are, it is still a daily commitment to a
healthy lifestyle. In my experience, it’s even harder to maintain weight loss,
sobriety, wellness…whatever we battle.
I have an area in the garden that is lined with pea gravel or small stones. This area is home to a lot of “creeping Charlie,”
a very annoying and invasive weed (although it has lovely purple flowers on it
right now) that spreads very rapidly by underground runner shoots. It is virtually impossible to get rid of and
it spreads all over. I literally could spend time every day of the summer
pulling it up and still not get rid of it completely. As I was tackling this
weed yesterday, I kept thinking about how tough and hardy it was…growing amidst
these rocks, enduring temperatures in the 20’s, withstanding the weed killer I eventually
resorted to last fall, and constantly having its roots yanked up. And yet….it grows….and grows…and grows…..SIGH. Such an annoyance….and yet….God spoke to me
through the ‘weed-pulling battle” about my journey.
I kept thinking about my strong belief that true life-change begins in
the mind and with the thoughts. As I’ve stated many times before, “In order for
me to change my life….and continue to change my life….I had/have to change the
way I THINK about things.” Not just the
obvious things like food, activity, addiction, etc….but THINGS like fear,
doubt, forgiveness, self-esteem, and gratitude, etc.
Negative thoughts….LIES that we tell ourselves, if you will….caused my
life to spiral out of control and left me in a state of complete emotional and
physical pain. Thoughts like, “Theresa, you are never going to lose weight”, “It’s
too hard; you can’t do it,” “People can’t lose that much weight without surgery
or pills,” “You just have too much to lose,” “You can’t do it….You won’t keep
it off….You’ll never reach your goal….You’re not worth it……You might as well
just give up” are like WEEDS that threaten to take over the garden of your
life. These negative thoughts…and many others like it…..are just like the
creeping Charlie in my garden. Negative thoughts
grow easier than flowers. They thrive when life gets hard and we get bombarded
by uncontrollable things like illness, grief, stress, unemployment….whatever. They threaten to take over and choke out the
joy and peace that we want in our life.
When we harbor the fear of failure; doubt our abilities to succeed; beat
ourselves up for past failures or mistakes; despair because we give in to temptation,
gain weight, fall off the wagon (whatever), we are choking out the beautiful
new life that is waiting to grow and blossom.
Getting rid of the negative
attitudes, emotions, and thoughts is a DAILY BATTLE…just like the weeds…because
for most of us, it’s easier to be negative than positive, especially if we’ve
been hurt or have been given a heavy cross to bear. We must continually pull up
those thoughts….get rid of them….dig them up….stomp them out…..whatever we have
to do…..so that they don’t take over our minds and sabotage those beautiful
things waiting to bloom and grow in us. I
made a little progress yesterday in my weeding but if I go out there later
today, I will see more weeds and undesirable things growing again. I have a choice: I can let it grow, knowing
that if I do, it will spread and spread and spread, eventually taking over the garden,
or I can commit to getting rid of it, a little at a time, sticking with it, not
growing weary so that I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. Eventually, the flowers will bloom and their
beauty and color will be the first thing I notice; the weeds will be
secondary. Eventually you will begin to
see progress in your life and you will gain the momentum and motivation to keep
it up.
Likewise, you might only be able to see the negative….the pain,
sadness, misery, discouragement, or
struggles in your life right now, but I assure you…if you begin to pull up
those negative thoughts; get rid of those negative habits; change the way you
think about food and LIFE….you will see the good begin to grow. Changing one’s
life is a daily choice…. A LIFE LONG BATTLE…..because it so much easier to feel
defeated and hopeless than it is to feel victorious. I have made the commitment….to fight the
fight and try each day to find the positive; to be grateful for the blessings
in my life; and to DAILY….pull up those “weeds” that threaten my joy. How about you?????? What is the garden of your life going to look
like?
Make it a happy, peaceful day!
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