What's for dinner?? Are you staying on track?

Happy Sunday! What's for dinner today? I just finished mine; it was my delayed celebration of the Feast of St. Theresa....no, not a feast like a big calorie laden feast! Although, I did have a great dinner! I finally got my customary Feast day meatloaf, only today's version was made with ground turkey and a bit of oatmeal instead of bread crumbs. I also had a tossed salad with a homemade vinaigrette salad dressing, butternut squash sweetened up with splenda and cinnamon, steamed broccoli and very small baked potato with spray butter. Certainly a big meal, but still within my calorie allotment for the day. Made my friend some lemon bars for dessert, but I'll pass on those and have a vanilla Greek Yogurt or perhaps some baked apples as a treat later on. SO.....are you all staying on track today and managing to avoid temptation? I Hope so....but if I'm already TOO LATE....make sure you start fresh tomorrow!!!!! Don't give in...and Don't give up!

How do you handle disappointment?

This journey called LIFE is not always easy. God never said it was going to be easy; He just said He’d be with us on the way.  Let’s face it…sometimes life is HARD and we get disappointed. It happens all the time. Things beyond our control mess up our plans. Sometimes people don’t like a gift we purchased or we don’t like a gift that was given to us. Sometimes a recipe turns out awful, the store sells out of our size shoe, it rains on our picnic or we get sick and have to miss the party. 

 

Sometimes people disappoint us. They let us down, forget our birthday/anniversary, choose someone else for the job, neglect to say, “Hey you look great today or Thank you” or say hurtful things.  Sometimes, well actually, a lot, we disappoint ourselves. “Why did I say that? Why didn’t I do this earlier? Why wasn’t I paying attention or remember to pay that bill?  Why, oh why, did I eat that piece of cake or open that beer?”  Sometimes we study and pull an all-nighter and STILL fail the test or we work hard all week to stay on track with our program and STILL we gain a pound or hit a plateau. Sometimes we work really hard on a project or put a lot of effort into something, and nobody even notices or cares. Disappointment, though at various degrees and intensities, happens….all the time. So the big question is, “what do we do about it?”

 

Yesterday I was slightly disappointed on my drive to work. As you know, I’ve been assigned to work at the Mt. Pleasant campus a few days a week while we hire and train some new people. This is an extra ½ hour drive for me, and I’d rather be working in my “own” office on my “own” campus, but it is only temporary so I’ve been making the best of it. One of my “consolation, quit pouting Theresa” strategies was that I would be able to see the beautiful fall colors on my extended drive each morning. I had planned that on some days I would take the ‘back roads” in and it would give me an opportunity to see things that I typically would not have.  The color is really beginning to explode around here, so Weds night I went to bed with a positive attitude, actually kind of even looking forward to my drive in to work yesterday.  But, things didn’t go as I had hoped. I failed to realize that the days are getting darker and darker each day.  SO…Yesterday….with a fresh cup of coffee….I set off to work….eager for my mini-color tour….only to discover that IT WAS DARK….ALL…THE….WAY there!  Talk about being bummed!  In the scheme of things, this is a silly, trivial disappointment. What’s the big deal? So what, it’s dark….your car started didn’t it? You have a job, don’t you? What’s the big deal about it being dark and not being able to see the trees?  Well, actually, it shouldn’t have been a big deal, but many of the times we are disappointed shouldn’t be a big deal either, but for us…at the moment….they are.  I got “over it” soon enough and ended up having a pleasant day and enjoyed the colors on the ride home, but starting out the day disappointed….even when it’s trivial….can set the tone for the entire day…..if we let it!

 

So I began to think about disappointments….plateaus…times people let me down….other stressors…..and how to handle them. “Old Theresa” would have stopped off at McDonald’s on the way to work and ordered a “big breakfast with an extra hash browns” and sat in the parking lot by myself eating, even though I would have likely already had breakfast at home.  “Old Theresa” would always handle disappointment in unhealthy ways. When things didn’t work out, she would have ordered a pizza and ate ½ box of Twinkies while waiting for it to arrive. “Old Theresa” would have got online and bought something off of EBay that she didn’t even need. “Old Theresa” would have just went to bed pouty.  I’m glad “OLD THERESA” doesn’t live here anymore!    Do you have an “Old you” rambling around in your world?

 

“New Theresa” handles things a bit differently these days: certainly not perfectly because I still turn to food… (just too much ‘acceptable’ food like watermelon!) I still pout, complain and whine on occasion (how often depends on who you askJ, but I also have come to realize that our success in life depends on how we deal with disappointment, grief, struggles, and LIFE. We become stronger when we overcome obstacles. These days when I encounter difficulties or am having a bad day, I go for a walk or bike ride, or work in my garden. Sometimes I call a friend or write a letter. Sometimes I “pamper myself” and have a “be good to Theresa” day. Sometimes I just go to bed early or take a nap. Mostly, I just try to give myself a “pep talk” and realize that in the scheme of things, the “little, petty annoyances of life” don’t really matter much, and before long, I can turn things around and realize how incredibly blessed I am!  What I can’t do….now….or EVER AGAIN….is eat a box of Twinkies or a bag of chips as a way to deal with “stuff”….even if it is silly, perceived, or trivial. Hopefully, you won’t either the next time you get “disappointed” or “hit a plateau.”   Keep working at it….try to keep positive….and whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP!   You can do this….you can get through it….and YOU CAN…and YOU WILL change your life! 

I’m curious….how do YOU handle disappointment? 

What is your motivation to change?

 

 

Happy Lunch Time!  Yesterday I posted that I needed to be careful about attaching self-worth to roles I play and jobs I do.  I thought about that a lot yesterday and it made me think about something that I shared with a large group at a recent speaking engagement regarding Motivation to change.

I’ve been rather wishy-washy with my thoughts on the subject and debating it back and forth in my head.  When I was a child, I learned that “motives” can make or break a good deed. For instance, if I did something nice for someone just because “my mom said I have to” or if I said something nice that I really didn’t mean but was trying to use to get someone to do something for me, then the action really wasn’t a good deed after all because “God sees our heart.”  My mom was trying to teach me to do good and kind acts because they were the “right thing” to do, not because I was being forced to do them or wanted something in return.  Likewise, the words, “I’m sorry” were meaningless if I didn’t put some sort of action or resolution behind them.  I remember once when my brother and I were fighting (typical!) my mom made us kneel at the railing in the kitchen until we said “I’m sorry” to each other.  Wasn’t going to happen…..well,  at least until we figured out that a quick, meaningless “I’m sorry….(usually followed by a muttered “ you brat” or “other name” under our breath) would get us “off the hook” and back to playing.  Mom was wise, and very quickly figured out what was going on and then made us add a hug and an “I love you” to the apology.  Neither of us were willing to do that very easily, and we quickly learned that there was more to words that merely syllables.  We learned that motives behind words and actions are important.

 

As I became an adult, my mind-set changed a bit on the subject, especially when dealing with students and teenagers in my Religious Ed programs. Parents would often share that they had to DRAG their child to mass on Sunday, or bribe them to come to Religious Ed classes. I had to force Confirmation students to go with me to the Soup Kitchen or on retreat because it was MANDATORY for them to do so or they couldn’t receive the sacrament. Kids in the school would go out of their way to donate the largest amount of canned goods for the food drive, likely not out of concern for the poor, but rather because there was a pizza party on the line for the class that brought in the most items.

 

 Likewise, in my own life, I’ve done…and do….. plenty of things…in fact, if I were really honest with myself….A LOT of stuff, even now, out of obligation or guilt or for some other ulterior motive. I’m surmising we all do.  We call or send birthday cards or buy Christmas gifts for people we don’t really like….because we have to.  We attend church or worship services….when our minds are elsewhere….because we were taught it was a sin NOT to.  We say nice things that we probably don’t truly mean….because it would be “inappropriate or rude” to say what we were really thinking and we donate to charities or fundraisers….buy things we don’t need a Tupperware parties….attend events we don’t want to….because we don’t want to offend others or we feel obligated.

 If I were to apply my mother’s principle that “doing something for the wrong reason” isn’t pleasing to God theory and ONLY do things when my heart was truly in them, then there would be A LOT of kind acts that would go undone!  Like you, I am a work in progress.   BUT… if I look at the flip side….Even if I’m doing things for the wrong reasons….the good act still gets done, right?  The food still gets donated, the card still gets sent, I still go to Mass, and others still hear words that they may need to hear.  Hmmm…….isn’t that better than Nothing?  I don’t know.  In most cases, though, the very act of doing good, regardless of motive, CHANGES us, makes us better, transforms us and purifies our hearts…..So….I say…DO IT ANYWAY! 

When speaking to others about motivation to change one’s life, I still maintain that  it is VERY IMPORTANT to make changes FOR YOURSELF…..not for others!  Oftentimes, people try to lose weight for an event. “I really want to look great for that class reunion….or I’m going to lose weight for my grandson’s wedding…or I want to wear skinny clothes for my trip.”  That’s a great place to start and can be a great motivator, but what happens when the event passes?  What happens after the wedding?  Sometimes, you’ve gained weight back before the pictures are even back from the photographer.   Other times, people change….lose weight, give up drinking, whatever…..so that “someone will like them” or they can save their marriage or find a boyfriend or make someone else happy.  Well, you know what….you may get thin and your relationship might break up anyway! Your partner may prefer the “old you”…mine did; there was less competition that way.  People may or may not like you…or be supportive of your new lifestyle…….in fact, if people like you ONLY because you’re thin, rich, sober, happy….then it’s time to find new friends!  What happens then?  Do you go back to the old lifestyle?

Back to wishy-washy….Making changes for someone else or some event is GOOD in the sense that you still lost weight or (whatever) and it may have gotten the ball rolling….BUT….will it be FOR LIFE?  Will you still keep it up AFTER the wedding….AFTER the boyfriend moves in or on….AFTER your special trip or your child’s graduation?   I hope so….but I think it’s important to find reasons/motives for US!  For me, my journey was ignited by sibling rivalry.....I WAS GOING TO SHOW MY SISTER THAT I COULD DO IT….but very quickly, my main motivation was became that I WANTED TO WALK again.  I wanted….and still want….to WALK more than I want ice-cream!  As long as I continue to “want to walk”, I’ll likely continue to be strong in the journey.  Sure, I’ll slip up occasionally, but the enjoyment and freedom I get from being free of the chair/walker/cane keeps me going day after day.

 

SO….I ask you today…. What is your motivation?  Are you making changes for YOU….or for someone else?  It might be worth some thought…..but whatever your motives…..don’t give up!  Change is change regardless of the “why!” 

New site sharing my story!

 

 

 

 

Another wonderful site has shared my miracle with its readers. Thank you God for changing my life and the courage to help inspire others. May God continue to be glorified in the telling and re-telling of the story!

 

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