Too good to be true?????

Back in the 1990’s, when I was working/teaching downstate and had the summers off, I purchased a very small little mobile home in northern Michigan. Those were good days and although I was quite overweight (probably 250-300 pounds), I was healthy, loving life, and quite happy. It was during that time when I first was introduced to gardening; a hobby that I am so thrilled to be able to do again.  My little yard was full of perennials and annuals and I was surrounded by beautiful blooms all summer long.  Unfortunately, I didn’t know much about gardening then and I made several gardening mistakes, one of which is still haunting me to this day, even though I no longer life at that address. Let me explain….

While visiting some friends at home (downstate at that time), the subject of gardening came up when I was admiring their beautiful plants. Those of you that garden know that most people with perennials are quite eager to share them with others because the plants need to be divided every couple of years in order to keep looking their best. My friend offered me several cuttings. Of course I was thrilled to take some new plants and we got to work digging and separating them.  At that point, her husband, came out in the yard and pointed out some rather pretty looking groundcover that was literally covering the back corner of the yard. He told me that it  was easy to care for, and began to dig some up for me. Again, I said, sure…put it in the bucket…and I’ll use it up north in one of the new beds I was working on.  I couldn’t wait to get back up north the next day and put my plants in their new home.  And so began the saga that continues to this day…..WEEDING!!!!

It turns out that this so-called beautiful groundcover is called “Creeping Charlie” and is actually an invasive weed that is very difficult, if not impossible, to eradicate. It grows with underground runners and can thrive just about anywhere.  Sigh…..By the end of that first summer it had taken over my flower bed. By the next summer it had spread into the lawn and within about two years, it was everywhere. It is now all over that yard.  Even though I no longer live in that particular house, I still own the property, and a few years ago when I took up gardening in my current home, I dug up plants from the other yard to transplant….and yup, you’ve got it….I managed to get Creeping Charlie because it was entwined with the others or the underground runners were tangled in the roots. And so, here it is, about 20 years after my initial “gift” and I’m STILL dealing with it on a weekly basis.  Although it is a somewhat pretty looking plant, it just chokes out everything else, so I have to get rid of it, but in 20 years, I’ve not been able to completely eradicate it.

I was thinking about this situation yesterday morning when I was weeding the beds and like just about most day-to-day tasks, conversations, and events, I can somehow connect it my journey. At first, I kind of chucked and said out loud, “If it appears to be too good to be true; most of the time it is.” This plant was probably not causing an issue or my friend when he shared it to me. He and his wife had just moved into their home and the plant was growing all over a corner of the yard that was under some trees. He hadn’t had the experience yet of trying to control it. Therefore, he was just sharing what he thought was a good thing.  For me….not knowing any better, I was thrilled to have an entire bucket of the so-called “ground cover” for free because perennials can be very expensive. Like Brian, I didn’t know any better; it was a “good thing.” Then. But I do now…..and I continue to pay the price of it.  Sigh…..

Over the course of my teen/adult years, I’ve encountered many things (potential boyfriends, job offers, items for sale, get rich schemes, etc.) that “appeared to be good….some of which I was sure were an answer to prayer…..but later turned out to be “too good to be true.” This is especially true with weight loss.  Likely, you’ve been there….or perhaps are there now……or considering going there out of desperation.

 I’ve battled with weight my whole life and like many of you, have tried some of the quick fix options to get thinner.  Twice, I was somewhat successful, losing 80+ pounds in the 80’s on a high-protein diet very popular called “Stillman’s” back then (probably something like Adkins these days) where I could eat all the meat, cheese, eggs, butter, etc…that I wanted but no bread, fruit, grains. I don’t even recall eating many vegetables. I called it the hotdog diet because I would eat a pack of hotdogs at a time without buns. I lost weight…quickly….but ended up quite sick and developed ulcerative colitis as a result. I used to carry a roll of toilet paper in the car and had digestive issues for a year….BUT…. I was losing weight so endured the stomach issues.  I was only in my early 20’s at that time so I didn’t even think about what that type of diet was doing to my cholesterol or the serious health issues I would later develop. Yikes!  And…you guessed it… I never learned self-control because I could eat all I wanted of the approved  high fat, unhealthy foods, and as soon as I went off the plan, I gained the weight back…and then some! I’m not sure how the diet even worked because I must have been consuming an awful lot of calories.

Again in the 90’s, I did the “too good to be true” Low-Fat plan. I could eat all I wanted as long as the foods I chose were “fat-free.”  Again, I lost a lot of weight, but didn’t learn discipline. I would eat an entire box of Snackwell’s cookies at a time, not to mention my addiction to diet coke and a box of sour-dough hard pretzels that I consumed each day. I even ordered those pretzels by the case because I couldn’t find my favorite brand in any stores in the Detroit area.  Again…an unbalanced, unhealthy eating plan…and you guessed it…I gained it all back….and then some! 

In between were several other “quick-fix” things that filled the media: diet pills that were later discovered to cause serious heart damage were prescribed by my doctor for about two months before I told him I wasn’t going to take them.  I tried some sort of supplements from the health food store for a month or so one time until I read that they raised blood pressure and caused heart attacks. Then there was the prescription that the doctor gave me that had the warning label that said, “Will cause anal seepage.” Yikes! Good thing I read that before I took them. I’d rather be fat than have “anal seepage!”  The TV and magazines were….and continue to be…. full of quick-fix solutions to the dreaded problem of obesity. I saw an infomercial a couple of weeks ago for a T-shirt type shapewear thing that is supposed to “burn fat.”  WHAT????????  Although each and every so called “quick-weight loss miracle” could work for some……most of them are “too good to be true” and will likely end up causing more problems….maybe very serious problems….in the long run. At first, it sounds like an answer to prayer and appears to be a very good thing…..just like the dreaded “Creeping Charlie” but later it turns out to be a very bad decision. 

Losing weight….changing one’s life is not easy. For me…the only thing that has…and will continue to work… is to make a complete life change. That means that I have had to ‘re-think” my mind-set and it is why I don’t refer to my current way of life as a ‘diet.” People go on and off diets all the time. I’m eating the same things now as I was back in 2011 when I started this journey, but just a larger quantity and a bigger variety.  I no longer limit my intake of fruit and yogurt, but I still won’t eat a candy bar or potato chips. I’ve said it many times before…. My advice is not to start a plan or do something today that you are not willing to do for the rest of your life.  If you choose an eating plan that you can stay on forever, you will be successful. If you give up eating candy now and can go forever without eating chocolate…if you want to stay on diet pills for the rest of your life….then you are on the right plan, but trust me…. “If it sounds too good to be true….if it promises that you will lose 20 pounds a month….it likely is TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!”  Losing weight is hard work….there is no quick-fix. Even those that choose the surgery route will tell you that they have had to completely change their life.  Find YOUR plan….a plan that works for you…a plan that you will be able to live with forever…..and you will succeed.

I will likely be plagued with the task of pulling “Creeping Charlie” from my yard (it is now spread to many areas of the yard…not sure HOW, but it has) but that pesky little invader will now be a reminder to me of this journey, and each time I pull up a runner or a plant, I will remember that my journey….my eating plan…my current lifestyle….is something that will require my attention FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. If I let it go…if I don’t continually address it….my old habits will take over my life and choke out the new joy, new attitude, new health, new life….NEW THERESA….that makes up the garden called life.

Have a great day today!

My thoughts about praying on this journey......

Like many of you, I am often asked to pray for people. Students often ask me to pray that they pass a test or get a good grade on an assignment. Sometimes someone asks me to pray that they get a new job, or that they win the lottery. Most of the time, I get asked to pray that someone can lose weight.  Obviously, as a woman of faith, I am a firmer believer that prayer changes things, but I’ve learned over the years that prayer is not a magic potent that removes my responsibility from the equation.  Let me elaborate….

When asked by a student to pray that he passes his test, before answering him, I usually ask him this: “Did you study for the exam? Did you read the materials? Have you been going to class?”  If he responds, “YES,” then my response is typically, “Sure, I’ll pray for you….but I’m not going to pray that you get an A on the test; I’m going to pray that God will help you remember what you read/learned/studied and that you do the best you can on the test.”  Sometimes the student looks at me with a blank stare and I explain further that I am not going to ask God to pass the test for him but rather, I will ask God to help HIM during the exam….because he (student) has responsibility in the outcome.  IF he had not prepared for the test, and I told him I would pray for him, and then he failed the test because he didn’t study, then the student’s faith in God would be altered. Geez, Theresa, God let me down; I failed the test.  NO, God didn’t let you down…..You let yourself down by not preparing and studying for the exam.  In my version of the prayer, his outcome on the test becomes a partnership between God and the student.

The same situation regarding winning the lottery or getting a good paying job.  I never…ever…am going to pray that someone wins the lottery or a raffle….or a baseball game or any other type of contest. I won’t even pray that way for MYSELF. I do pray, however, that God will prosper the work of my hands….that will give me the insight, energy, work ethic, desire…to work hard, to be industrious, to do my best….at work, or in a game or contest, or on a project. I pray that God will lead me to opportunities to share my story and will open the doors that He desires for me (someday that may lead to a bigger income or to writing a book, who knows?)  I will pray that a person prospers….or practices good sportsmanship or plays to the best of his/her ability….but if one wants to increase his/her income or become rich (no harm in that, I suppose) then my prayer might be that he/she is able to do well in an interview and get a higher paying job.  There is no EASY way out in this life; at least I’ve never found one!  Certainly there are those individuals in this world that seem to have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth….born into a rich family….athletically gifted or extremely intelligent…..but most of the people I know that have become successful in life (however YOU define that….money?  Nah, not me.  Fame? Nope, don’t care about that either. Great athlete/awards/trophies? Never won a trophy for any of that) have done so because they have worked VERY HARD in life. Your grandpa or dad was probably a very hard worker…maybe working 30+ years at the same factory job, day in and day out….and now is enjoying retirement comfortably….but worked long hours in tough conditions, scrimped and saved over the years, and is now reaping the rewards of years of a strong work ethic.  Those college/professional athletes, Olympic stars, singers/dancers…whatever…. put hours and hours of practice in to develop their talent. Most people have to WORK HARD to reap results.  So sure, I’ll pray that their hard work pays off….but not that they will just be HANDED a million dollars.

I especially feel this way about praying for a person to lose weight or make a big life change.  I have never prayed that I would get thin; nor will I pray that anyone else does.  Rather….every day….I pray about my journey and I ask for God’s grace to continue on this road to wellness. My prayer, for me….and for you too…. is always, first and foremost, one of GRATITUDE…(even when I was 400 pounds….and 300 pounds…and 200 pounds)  Every day I thank God for paying the price for this victory….(I prayed that all along, even when I was extremely obese, God had ALREADY won the battle on the cross; I just hadn’t fully embraced that) and Thanking Him for supporting me on this journey…for setting me free from a life of obesity/disability/emotional eating. I then ask that I be given the strength to walk in that victory…..to stay motivated….to make healthy choices each day…..to have the desire and the discipline to stay strong.  I also pray that God will replace the temptation/desire/hunger in me for things that are not nourishing for my body…… sugar and junk food….with a hunger/desire to do good; to help others; to stay focused; to be a better, kinder, more loving person, etc.  I ask God to remove the temptation to eat when I am not hungry; when I am tired or stressed (all emotional eating)…and to eat only those things that my body needs to function well and remain strong.  I ask Him to bring my body into line with that perfect weight (whatever that is…might even be 200 pounds for some) that He created me to be. God created each of us different, unique, and beautiful and in all shape and sizes. What a boring world it would be if we all were 5 foot 8 inches tall and weighed 125 pounds. I have no desire to be a size 6…..I just want to be healthy and to be at/maintain the weight that God created/desires me to be.  I’m not a theologian but I don’t believe that God made me fat; nor did He make me thinner.  He allowed me to make the choices that caused me to be 400+ pounds and he loved me then….and He helped me make the choices/changes to lose weight….and he loves me now. So sure… I pray….every day of this journey and give Him every single bit of the glory for this miracle for without Him, none of it would be possible, but I did not…..and will not….pray to become a size 6. You may have a different philosophy and that is okay with me…because, although we are on this journey together, each one of us have a personal walk and we all think differently.

So…..be assured that if you ask me to pray for you on your journey, I absolutely will…..but I will pray for you as I pray for me….First….gratitude for the blessings in your life. Then….I will pray that you are strong enough to resist temptation…..motivated enough to keep working…..and that your hard work/effort will be rewarded/reflected with the results that you want…..and finally that God will use YOU….your struggles/triumphs to help others; and that In and through your journey, He will be glorified.

Prayer Can/does bring about miracles….but your miracle is from within…..how you think/feel/act….the kind of person you are transformed into when you invite God into the equation……and THEN…that transformation is reflected physically.   Don’t give up on your miracle….but perhaps…if you are struggling, you should think about HOW and WHAT you are praying for. 

Have a great day today………

You have to believe in yourself

Good Morning!  What a great evening it was last night, getting the opportunity to meet many of our group members who live in the mid-Michigan area.  Thank you for taking the time to drive to Clare so that I could meet you in person and for giving me the opportunity share my story and learn more about yours. I hope to be able to do this again sometime, perhaps in another part of the state when I am traveling for other speaking engagements.  For those of you that live far away, be assured that WHEREEVER I go….and whatever venue I am privileged to share this story….you all are always a part of the gathering because you are part of my journey. Some of you have known me for many years and knew me before I began this journey…..some of you have just joined the group, but nonetheless, you all have a part in my story, and likewise, I hope to share in yours. Each and every time I get to meet new people or share this miracle, I am strengthened and motivated to keep fighting the fight, so THANK YOU!

When I saw this clip, I immediately thought about all of you and how grateful I am that YOU BELIEVE IN ME…and support and encourage me, and I want to make sure you know that I BELIEVE IN YOU AS WELL!  I met some amazing people last night…..and I know, deep in my spirit….that they on their way to their own miracle.  I don’t believe that things just happen. I believe that God has a plan and that each person that crosses my path….or joins this group…has a role to play in my journey and vice-versa.  However, even though I believe that God put us on the journey to support and help each other, we all know that when push comes to shove, it comes down to US….and our choices.  I can’t make you lose weight or give up unhealthy attitudes or habits, but I can encourage you and remind you that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.  Ultimately, it comes down to YOU….and how much YOU believe in yourself……how much YOU want to change….and the choices YOU make. 

The same is true for me.  Each day, in fact, over and over throughout the day, I have to make the choice: Do I want to continue to walk….do I want to continue to  enjoy this new life….do I want to keep  this weight off….do I want to keep trying to be healthier, happier, kinder…..essentially a better person…..or do I want to eat a Donut?   In the midst of temptation….I often think of you….and how I don’t want to let you down…..and I gain the strength to walk away. So, THANK YOU!

Keep on believing in your miracle and in each other.  It will happen….. Make it a great day today. Remember….you cannot control many of the things that will happen today…but you can control how you react to those things!

Play the cards you are dealt......or get new ones????

When I was a little girl, in an effort to encourage me to be strong and cope with the tragedies that sometimes accompany life, my mother often reminded me, “You have to play the hand (cards) you are dealt, sweetheart.”  Her well-meaning words were meant to help me keep going and not become bitter when life became difficult, especially after my dad died and later when she (mom) encountered serious heart trouble. She certainly faced some difficult times in her young life and the way she used her faith and strong will to persevere inspired me and molded me into the woman I am today. Those words became a sort of “mantra” for my siblings and me, and as a result of my mother’s role modeling, all three of us the Borawski kids grew up to be fighters….survivors….and very strong, independent adults.  In many ways I am very grateful for that life-lesson, but in some cases, those words became a stumbling block, and likely kept me from reaching out when I needed help. In a sense, they kept me trapped in a life of despair because I thought, “This is the life I have and things will never be any better” and so I did nothing to improve my circumstances. I just did what I needed to do to survive……and function.   

Let me explain. When my life became very difficult (2003) after not only one, but two job losses, an out-of-town move, a $9000 pay cut, the death of two loved ones, an arson that burned my family cabin to the ground…..and several other very tragic and life-changing situations, I was at a point where I couldn’t really take much more.  You’ve heard the story; there’s no need to dwell on it.  I coped the best I could and put on a happy face; in fact, even those closest to me didn’t know I was struggling so much because I hid my pain…both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately, I turned to food, and I ended up over 400 pounds and at the lowest point of my life.

All during this time, I kept telling myself those words that were ingrained in me: “You have to play the hand you are dealt……”  Over and over and somehow, for many years, I did what I needed to do to keep my head above water for as long as I could.  God certainly was with me during this time because even after being unemployed for 18 months without unemployment, I managed to go back to college and graduate with not only one, but two degrees, sell enough stuff on eBay to keep my homes and the lights on, deal with the horrific side effects of some chemo type medication for the Rheumatoid Arthritis that caused me to vomit and be sick every weekend for over a year, go back to college when I was barely able to walk,  and eventually to get a new job that required me to work 40+ hours a week…..all while trying to cope with the struggles of life.  Mom’s words…and a firm belief that God was with me…got me through that time……but only by a thread.  I literally was in serious trouble when I started this journey; not financially, spiritually, or mentally, but emotionally and physically.  I was a real mess.

I have mixed emotions when I look back at those years. Sometimes I am amazed that I was able to leave that life behind. Mostly, I am grateful that God set me free from that old life and continually helps me on a daily basis to persevere.  But, I’m also ashamed that I didn’t reach out for help when life was so tough and that I wasted so many years living in a private hell. Ironically…..in the midst of that time…. I never, not even ONCE had the thought, “Theresa, if you don’t like the situation, do something about it!”  Hmm…..WHY?  Why did I just assume that THIS was the way life was always going to be?  Why didn’t I think that I had ANY responsibility for my situation?  Why was I blinded to my role in my physical and emotional health?  WHY?   Honestly, I don’t know.  I could justify myself by falsely claiming, “This was God’s will…” but I don’t believe that God WILLS us to be miserable.  I do, however, believe that He can use difficult times to teach, prune, strengthen, and mold us….and that He reveals Himself to us in the lowest times of our life….if we continually seek it, but I certainly do not think He wants us to be in despair.  I also believes that the struggles of my past were a part of His plan; a plan that He is revealing and preparing me for on a daily basis…and that without those times, I would not be where I am today.  God has used those experiences and struggles to help others and I am so humbled and blessed! He has turned my mourning into dancing and I am eternally grateful.  As my dear priest friend used to say, “No cross; no crown.”  And yet……

Today, I have a different perspective on things.  Yes, I believe that in many cases, “You have to play the hand you are dealt,”  when faced with situations in which we have NO CONTROL; meaning things that happen TO ME….like death, natural disasters, world situations, weather, the behavior of OTHER people.   When faced with a power outage from a storm: I have to deal with it.  When faced with a rainy day when a picnic is planned: I have to deal with it.  When a friend/loved one becomes sick or dies: I have to deal with it.  I cannot change some so many things and my mother’s words echo in my spirit, encouraging me to trust God, dig deep, and do what I need to do. 

HOWEVER…..in situations in which I do have control…….such as my weight, my attitude, my emotions, my reaction to situations, and my physical and mental well-being…..” I DO NOT have to play the hand I was dealt!” There are many things over which I have the power to change.  It wasn’t until a few years ago when I realized…”I CAN THROW THE CARDS BACK and get new ones!!!!!” DUH……Why didn’t I think of that before?  Once I decided that I didn’t want to live that life of obesity, depression, and immobility and that I COULD DO SOMETHING TO IMPROVE IT, I threw those cards in….and got new ones.  Thank you, God, for setting me free…..and dealing me a better hand when I decided, “enough is enough” and I surrendered my life/will/future/health to you.

So, my friends……my advice to you today is this:  If you do not like the cards you are holding, throw them back and get new ones.  If you don’t like the way you are feeling, or looking, or living…..take some action….even if it is just one tiny step….to change it. Go back to school to get some more education if you don’t like the job you have. Seek new friends if you are surrounded by negative people who are dragging you down. Make better decisions and give up bad habits if you aren’t happy with your life circumstances.  Don’t fall into the trap that I was in thinking that life could never change; that you are destined to be fat, addicted, miserable, sick, depressed, unhappy….whatever…..for the rest of your life.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  YOU CAN….and YOU WILL…CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  But…..you have to throw in the cards and take a chance on some new ones. Don’t hang on to the old ones thinking, “well, these are good enough.’  You have to change the way you THINK before you can change the way you ACT.   Cope with what you cannot change….but change what you can.   

As the clip art says so appropriately…..TAKE A DIFFERENT ROAD!  I have faith in you.  You can do it and I’ll be right here cheering you on!