I have a wonderful old pair of slippers that I have had for several
years. They were once pristine white with tiny pastel flowers on them; a Christmas
gift from a very good friend from my past: Gina Fox. My slippers are very
comfortable and warm, and they are the first thing I slip on when I arrive home
anxious to get out of my heels, or when I slide out of bed. My feet are numb
and painful the majority of the time due to neuropathy, and these old, beat-up,
faded slippers provide insulation between my feet and the ground. In addition,
they represent “home” because I typically don’t wear them out (although my
neighbor might dispute that one ….shhhh… :-) ).
In any case, my slippers represent security, peacefulness, safety, and
comfort. Even though I could simply buy a new pair at any time, I will be hard
for me to part with those slippers when they finally need to be replaced.
Before checking out of the hotel yesterday morning, I took
one last bubble bath in the large Jacuzzi tub in my suite. This was such a
special treat for me for a number of reasons; first, because I was unable to
get in a tub for many years due to my size and physical disabilities, and
second, because my current home does not have a tub; just a walk-in
shower. I’ve shared before that the
simple act of taking a shower used to be an exhausting task because it was
difficult to stand up for more than about two or three minutes before succumbing
to the pain. There was a day when I would have to get out of the shower,
completely covered in soap and soaking wet, and sit on the toilet in the middle
of taking my shower just to rest a few minutes; water dripping all over the floor. I couldn’t even use shampoo AND conditioner
because it took too long to use two separate products: I switched to an
all-in-one product. While some days are
harder than others (Rheumatoid Arthritis does NOT go away with weight loss; it
merely becomes easier to function without the extra stress on the joints), I
can typically shower or bath these days without much difficulty. In fact, took FOUR bubble baths in the 2 ½ days
I was at the hotel: just because I could!
Yesterday, as I stood up to dry off after a bath, I looked
down at the bathroom floor. The hotel bathroom was huge and at the base of each of
the vanity sinks was a thick, plush white rug; the kind you just sort of sink
into when stepping on. There, sitting on
this rug, was my pair of beat-up, old, no-longer-white, but rather a dingy gray,
pair of slippers that I love. I looked at
them and felt a bit defeated, perhaps disgusted, for a minute. “Goodness; those
slippers look AWFUL. It’s a good thing none of my colleagues saw me in them”, I
thought. “I’d be SO embarrassed.” What?
Embarrassed: Why? Those are my favorite slippers and I love them so much that I
packed them to take with me; not because I don’t have any others because I have
a brand new pair in the drawer, but because they are mine; they represent comfort
and friendship; they are on my feet during my morning prayer/reflection/writing
time each morning and at the end of the day when I express gratitude for the
blessings I’ve encountered. They have been part of my journey, the one THING
that I haven’t out-grown as losing weight. (Did you know even your shoes will
become too large when you lose a lot of weight?
I lost a full shoe size.)
For a moment, these well-loved and perfectly fine slippers
stirred up negative thoughts and caused me to feel embarrassed at the thought
that someone might see me in them in the midst of that big fancy hotel. Hmmm…..WHY?
The answer is simple: Comparison!
I never noticed that the white slippers had become dingy gray….until I compared
them to the pristine white of the fluffy rug. I never noticed the wear and tear….until
they were laying on the like-new, perfect plush rug. What was once acceptable and desirable to me,
almost became, “Yuck…I need to throw those disgusting things away”, simply because
I was comparing them to the rug. What a
silly girl…and yet…we often fall into the trap of comparing what we have with what
others have, and yet, we know that things and people become more precious and
valuable to us with age because they have been part of our journey; our history;
our life. Ask any couple married for 40
or 50 years…I’m betting they say they love each other more today than when they
married. When we love from the heart, we overlook the flaws and imperfections,
and see beauty and value…until we compare what we have with what someone else
has…. A younger model? A better car? A bigger house?
This is so true in our personal journey to wellness. Perhaps this is you: You lose 10, 15, maybe even 25, pounds and
you feel really good about yourself. It is really hard work and you are so
proud of your efforts, and you attend a wedding or holiday event, and you run
into a relative or friend you haven’t seen in a while…..and discover that
he/she has lost 50 pounds! WHAT? You didn’t even know he/she was trying to
lose weight….and suddenly….instead of being overjoyed at your own progress, you’re
disgusted and jealous because your friend has reached goal or lost more than
you. That ‘wow…I feel great….I’m so
proud of my own journey….happy feeling of accomplishment’ vanishes because you
compare your progress against that of another. Comparison is a kill-joy and a
determent to your journey!
The same thing can happen if you belong to a weight-loss support group, if week after week, someone in your group loses more than you. Maybe you and a spouse or friend is on a weight-loss or fitness plan and one is making faster progress and the same situation occurs. Perhaps you’re making steady progress, albeit slow (maybe only a pound or less a week) and someone else is losing 2 or 3….perhaps more….EACH and EVERY week. Instead of doing the “happy dance” at your own progress; you feel defeated and somewhat jealous because it isn’t happening FAST ENOUGH. It is even worse when you hit those dreaded, but inevitable, plateau weeks when the scale doesn’t budge, or you have an ‘off-week” and gain a pound or two. Comparing YOUR journey and YOUR progress to someone else’s, and the negative thoughts that can often accompany that comparison, will cause you to stumble faster than eating a Krispy Kreme donut. It’s never a good idea!
We do this is ALL areas of our life. Perhaps it’s the human
tendency to always want MORE….to always think that someone else has something better
than us. There will always be a lot of
people that have more money than us. There will always be people that have
fame; fortune; knowledge…..drive nice cars, live in big houses, take fancy
vacations, have prestige, power, health……but so what? There will always be
people that lose weight faster, can run farther (or even run at all), look
better, weigh less….etc….but so what?
Does that make what I have any less a gift? Does that make my progress and my journey any
less a miracle? Does that make YOU any
less a person? I don’t think so!!!!
Certainly, we can have aspirations…and dreams…and goals that
motivate us to do better and work harder. Those are good, but when we allow
anyone or anything to diminish our self-worth, we quickly move from a life of
GRATITUDE to one of ENVY and JEALOUSY, and before long, it’s more than our
faded, worn-out slippers that become UGLY. Our spirit, our hearts, and our
attitudes quickly follow…..and when that happens, it won’t matter how thin you’ve
become; how rich you are; how often you get to stay in luxury suites, or how
white, plush, or thick your slippers are…. You will still be ugly!
I am currently wearing my worn-out, dingy slippers because they
still have value. They’re as warm today as they were yesterday. They’re as comfortable
now as they were a couple of day ago. They’re as useful and priceless to me now
as they’ve always been….because they are MINE…and yes, certainly, there are
others who have far nicer slippers…..but I am grateful for these….because there
are many who are cold and barefoot this morning who would be thrilled to have
them.
My journey; my life….and all that it entails is a gift from
God; so is yours. Be grateful for your progress, however, slow it may be. Be
grateful for your blessings; however meager they may feel. Be grateful for your
life; however flawed you may feel. The only comparing I will do today….the only
longing I will have in my heart, or the goal I
will aspire to today is to be kinder than I was yesterday; to be more
peaceful than I was the day before that; and to be more loving and walk closer
with God tomorrow than today.
Have a wonderful day today!!!
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