Choices….Sometimes I love them; other times I don’t. When I was
growing up, I didn’t have a choice about a lot of things. Children of the 60’s
didn’t really have the choices like kids do today. As long as it wasn’t
raining, we played outside, and we better be home when the street lights came
on. Period. If we didn’t eat our
vegetables or, in my brother’s case, meatloaf, we sat at the table long after
everyone else had left. If we wanted to go to an event after school like a ball
game or skating party, we teamed up with our classmates and set up a car-pool,
or we didn’t go. Simple as that. Even
what I wore was dictated by a strict dress code at the Catholic school
requiring me to wear uniforms.
I grew up surrounded
by people that cared about me, not just family, but teachers, neighbors, and my
friend’s parents as well (back then, ANY adult had the authority to correct a
kid); all of whom helped me learn that my choices came with consequences or
rewards. Sometimes the consequences were
worth making the wrong choice and I endured them because it seemed “worth it”
to……get my mouth washed out with soap for calling my brother a bad name, or
getting my hair pulled for being a brat….or being sent to my room (loved that….enjoyed
being alone even back then) for being disrespectful or sassing back. Other
times, I learned quickly, that getting in trouble at school (only a few times)
meant that not only did I have a conversation with the principal, Sr. Helen,
but I also had a “CHAT” with my mother when I got home! I also learned that ‘faking
sick” in order to stay home from school wasn’t what it was cracked up to be
because it meant that I couldn’t go ANYWHERE that day, even after school hours,
because if “I was too sick to go to school, I certainly was too sick to go to
the basketball game or play with my friends.” Later in life, I learned that
making poor food choices would lead to a life of obesity.
Likewise, I learned that good choices came with rewards. If I
did my homework and paid attention in class, I earned good grades and if I got
a good report card, my mother was proud and pleased. If I did my chores early
and without a fuss, mom would take me shopping or perhaps out to lunch. I didn’t always like the consequences for a
poor choice, but I’m glad that I learned that my choices came with outcomes and
played a role in my destiny. This new life that I’m enjoying is a reward for
the choice I made to change my eating habits and way of thinking about food….and
other things.
It was much harder to learn that there are
many things in life that happens over which I have NO choice; things like
people dying, job loss, weather, disease, or the way OTHER people behave or
treat me. I couldn’t do anything to keep my parents, friends, or grandparents
alive; I didn’t do anything wrong to lose either of my jobs…it was just a
restructuring thing; I didn’t do anything to bring on Rheumatoid Arthritis….and
yet….I had a choice in the matter, not whether or not those events were going
to happen, but rather, how I was going to respond to those things. It took me a very long time to “see” it, but
admittedly, I didn’t respond very well. I made some poor choices as a result of
those “things over which I had no control”; namely, I turned to food to comfort
me and fill the emptiness, withdrew from those around me, and tried to handle
everything on my own. And the
consequences? Well, you know the story: I
ended up weighing over 400 pounds, unable to walk, miserable and in constant physical
and emotional pain. I could not choose whether my loved one dies or to endure
the pain of RA any more than you can choose to have cancer, or endure a
hurricane, fire, or flood. Those things happen….but I could have done things
differently. Those examples are pretty
big ones from the past, but over and over each day, I encounter little
situations over which I get to choose how I react: The lady at the checkout who was rude to me;
the co-worker that seems to always “stir the pot” at the office; The family
member that pushes my buttons on a regular basis. Am I going to let the
attitude or actions of others ruin my day? Am I going to get agitated and eat
something I will later regret? Am I going
to respond in a negative way and say something that I can’t take back? I make the wrong choices frequently and I end
up feeling bad about it. Other times, I just walk away. I’d like to do more ‘walking
away’; how about you?
I guess what I’m trying to say in this ‘long-winded post” is
that WE have a big role to play in our journey and we have to continually
remind ourselves that “OUR CHOICES” can help determine our future, but first we
have to determine what we CAN control….and what we CAN change….and then we have
to make the CHOICES to do so. I’m going
to work on that today and in the future.
I’m going to try to ask myself:
“Can I control what is happening (like the thunder I hear in
the background on my day off L”
or not. If I can’t control it, how can I react to it in a way that will improve
my life?
“What are the consequence of my actions…..and are the
consequences worth it?” (Might be…. if I choose to go garage saling (which I will
likely do in an hour or so but will need to give up some other time later to
get some chores done) or maybe not, if I choose to eat something off plan and
end up feeling icky or gain weight.)
“Does MY actions affect another person….hurt them; cause
them to feel bad; or make a positive difference in their life”
And finally, “WILL it really matter…..next week, next year…when
I die…..if my house is spotless (won’t ever happen); my garden is weed-less
(some weeds have flowers, you know? LOL); or if I wear the red dress or the
blue one to church tomorrow?”
Choose instead to be happy….positive….loving….healthy….and
grateful….and enjoy the blessings around you. Make the choices to improve your physical
health and well-being…to fill our body with good nutritious food, drink water, and
be as active as you are able to be. Choose to improve your emotional health by
forgiving others, expressing love and kindness, accepting yourself and your
faults and failings. And choose to improve your spiritual life by being
GRATEFUL and asking God to help you recognize the ways in which He is present
to you. Choose today to make the BEST
decisions to change your life!
No comments:
Post a Comment