You can't even imagine what life could be like....

Good morning from the glorious, albeit, a bit rough shores of Lake Michigan!  I am in Bay Harbor, MI, just outside of Petoskey, to attend a conference for Community College leadership. Two of my colleagues and I will present a session this morning on the partnership we’ve formed between the Financial Aid Office and Retention departments, and the strategies we’ve developed to help students succeed. This is not the typical kind of speaking that I do, but nonetheless, still exciting. When I truly believe in something, it is exhilarating to share it with others.

As I mentioned yesterday, a last-minute change in plans regarding accommodations occurred, and my group has somehow managed to end up in King Suites in the Inn at Bay Harbor.  I’ve stayed at this hotel before when attending the conference in prior years, but never in a room like this. In fact, this little ‘rural girl” has never SEEN a room like this, let alone stayed in one.  I felt like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” when I walked in to find that the hotel suite is nearly as big as my house, complete with a full-functioning kitchen, living room with fireplace, separate bedroom, AND….a jet tub!  Yikes! All of this opened up to a balcony overlooking Lake Michigan!  I’m not sure I really want to leave this room to attend the sessions! 

All of this is a bit overwhelming for me to comprehend and it is completely ‘out of my norm.” I’ve never been one impressed by luxury or expensive things, but this certainly is a pleasant surprise. After all, I made a little stop on my way north to the Salvation Army Thrift store in Gaylord, and walked into this place carrying a watermelon and a grocery bag of food. My 14-year-old car is the oldest one in the parking lot. Oh, the irony!  I find value in the simple things in life; those moments that are ‘priceless” as the commercials say, and measure my wealth in terms of the heart. Certainly, I will enjoy these few days, living in luxury, but will be just as glad to return to my simple life in the woods.

This morning, as I listen to the surf pound the shore outside my room, my heart is filled with gratitude, not necessarily for my surroundings, but for the blessings that are all around me. I give thanks for this journey, and for all of you with whom I share it. I’ve been remembering all of the conference invitations that I had to turn down a few years ago when I was at my worst. It would have been just way too hard to attend something like this, if not impossible.  I knew it, and it didn’t take much for me to convince my superiors of it either. Eventually, they quit asking. It was difficult enough for me at this stage to get myself up here, traveling in the wind and rain yesterday, hauling ‘way-too-much stuff” into the hotel (did I mention I brought a watermelon with me?  LOL), getting settled in my room, standing and mingling with the other attendees at the hospitality suite, etc.  This would have been virtually impossible for someone 400 pounds and unable to walk. I know, I’ve been there, and I could go back there again…IF….I don’t make a choice…..every….single….day…..NOT to!  Our journey is FOR LIFE….not merely until we reach a goal.

 I watched as people bustled around me, milling in and out of the hotel, transporting luggage, and standing in the lobby mingling with others. I wondered if they knew how blessed they are to be alive?  They were doing every-day normal things that we sometimes take for granted; things that others like “Old Theresa” and perhaps you, only dreamed of one day being able to do for the first time…or again. Some of you may never be able to walk pain-free or without the use of a mobility device due to physical disability; some may never be comfortable mingling or socializing due to anxiety or depression; some may never be given the opportunity to travel or stay in a place like this for a number of reasons, but EACH OF US....is given blessings each day that we often take for granted. 

Today, I encourage you to focus more on those things that you CAN do, even if they are small and what you feel to be insignificant. Focus on what you DO have, even if you are struggling to put food on the table or make ends meet. Focus on what you GET to eat, rather than on what you CAN’T eat. (Remember, you Can eat it, but you Choose not to). Focus on what you HAVE lost or the progress you HAVE made, rather than on how far you still need to go and how bad you may have messed up yesterday.  Today is a gift….approach it with gratitude and I guarantee you will begin to see things in a new way.

I’m grateful today that this ‘fluke in reservations” has landed me here, but not because I got to take a bubble bath in a hot tub last night (although that was pretty “sweet” LOL) but because it was just God’s way of reminding me that “when we allow HIM to intervene in our journey, the result is beyond even our comprehension.” When I began this journey to wellness three years ago…..never, ever would I have imagined that my life would end up like this. All I wanted to do was keep myself out of an Assisted Living home….and be able to walk the 50 yards or so to my mailbox. I never dreamed I would be ever be able to walk down the beach or get into a bathtub again after many years of not being able to do so.   Trust me…….you have no idea what joy; what freedom; what opportunities will come from your journey, but you have to take the first step. You have to do the work…day-in-and-day-out in order to get there. You have to make the hard choices and sacrifices, and ask yourself daily “What do I want MORE….this donut; cigarette; drink; bad relationship; unforgiveness and anger  (whatever, you can fill in the blanks)…or freedom, joy…true joy from within, not from a lakeside suite….and a peaceful spirit?  The choice is pretty easy for me. I choose life…and gratitude…and joy; things that will last far beyond my business trip or the taste of that cinnamon roll.

Make it a great day, my friends, and be assured that you are here with me in spirit.

Change is hard...but often leads to something better!

Good Morning!  I am so glad that God gives us the gift of a new day each morning and a fresh chance to do better.   Yesterday I had a really crummy, feeling crabby and irritable, kind of day, and admittedly, I let something completely out of my control nearly get the best of me and threaten my peaceful spirit. It all seems silly this morning, but yesterday, my frustration and agitation was very real. I could not control the situation, but I could have done a better job controlling my reaction to it. Fortunately, today is a new day.  Let me explain.

You may find this to be surprising, perhaps even comical, for someone who has drastically changed her life and facilitates a group of nearly 2000 members called, “We Can Change our Lives,” but I really don’t like change!  I struggle with it and I often resist it. Not internal change, in thoughts and actions over which I have control, but any physical change in surroundings. I am a creature of habit and don’t even like to move my furniture around. I lived in my house downstate for over 15 years and never changed the living room furniture around. The same is true for my current home.  Once I get things where I want them, I don’t want them moved because it causes me to be anxious and uneasy.  It’s almost as if I need my surroundings to be stable and constant after a lifetime of changes that happened “to me” without my consent or permission; things like the death of my father as a child, my mother’s remarriage when I was a teenager, her illness, my job loss, and other losses along the way. I could not control these things and I didn’t like ANY of them; but they happened anyway.  Life is like that sometimes and we have two choices: Let them bring us down, makes us bitter, destroy us…..or ‘deal with them.”  I didn’t deal with them too well at first and it took a long time to accept them as the reality of life.

I have been at my current job for about eight years, and I have now am in my 8^th office.  For a girl that likes to ‘nest” and resists change in her surroundings, this is pretty traumatic.  When I was moved into my current office about six weeks ago, I had a hard time adjusting. I was irritable, on edge, and not a very happy camper, but after a few days, I began to make the space “my own” and began to adapt. Due to some internal decisions, I was moved to the office before the new furniture arrived and was told that I would need to pack things up again when the furniture arrived. Well, yesterday, the new furniture arrived. I was not given any input into the choice or arrangement of the furniture, and things have been chaotic for the past week with all my office “stuff” packed in approximately 35 boxes stacked in the corner. For the past two days I had to work without a desk, phone, or computer set-up. The others in my department were in the same boat, and some of them, actually STILL don’t have an office space set-up, so I’m fortunate in the sense that mine has arrived and I can begin the process of making the space ‘my own” again.

My furniture is very nice, high-quality items, and I should have been very happy. Instead, I was crabby, irritable, and angry because the desk is permanently attached to the wall in the far corner of the office facing the wall and preventing me from seeing out my office door. My sense of security is threatened because I can’t see out or see who is coming in if I am working at the station. I deal with the highest risk students with very serious “baggage” and issues and often deal with angry or frustrated students that I need to diffuse. Sometimes I am afraid and uncomfortable when I have to deliver bad news. I wondered why somebody didn’t ask me my opinion on the best placement of the desk for my needs; but they didn’t and it ‘is what it is.”  So, ultimately, I have two choices: deal with it and adapt or be frustrated and let it affect my spirit.  Yesterday, I let it get me down and cause me more stress than necessary. I overreacted and was frustrated all day, instead of being grateful for a job that I LOVE and provides for my needs and the new furniture that I’ve been given.   I tried my best to remind myself that I love my job and my office is simply “space” in which I work and has nothing to do with the gifts, talents, and passion I bring to the job. 

I began to get settled yesterday and will continue the process today before leaving for a business trip later this afternoon.  By this time next week, I’ll have my family photos and personal effects scattered throughout my space and I will have found a way to make things work.  I do that; first I react (not always positively)…then I realize how blessed I am and I become grateful….and then I adjust and adapt.  I don’t like change….but as the quote above says….change can, and often does, lead to something better.

In terms of my personal journey, this has been absolutely true.  Change happened….Life happened….and I didn’t like it, but in time, God made things ‘new’ again and in some cases, so much better.  I struggled as a young adolescent when my mother remarried after my biological father died. It was a very difficult time for me and yet, I was blessed with a new step-dad, Tony, who became an important person in my life for 37 years, showing me love and teaching me many things. He died over a year ago and his absence continues to be felt in my life. I was nearly destroyed with I lost my job at the church after 15 years, but had I still been employed there, my life would be completely different today. None of this new ministry…these new opportunities….this new job helping students and others…..would have been possible.  Painful, devastating, unjust, and out of my control…..Absolutely…..but out of that change has come something even better!   I was horrified when I watched my grandparent’s summer vacation place burn to the ground, but in its spot is a new place…a bigger one with a large family room where all 35 of us can share a meal together…a place that is now open year round and has become “Pip’s place” and is used by all the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren on a regular basis.  What once was able to accommodate only a few family members at a time has become the gathering place for the several generations of Brinkmeiers.  Out of the ashes…literally ashes….has come something better!

Yes, change is hard. Yes, change can make us angry and agitated. Yes, we like things the way they are….and we resist it, especially when we can’t control the changes that happen around us, but more often than not, CHANGE leads to something even better….even when at first it doesn’t seem like it.   Sometimes….like me…God knows that we would not choose to make the changes that are necessary for our growth….and so He makes them for us.  Sometimes we have to get to the point where we have NO OTHER CHOICE but to change our life.  Often times it’s a serious health scare like a heart attack or visit to the hospital. Sometimes it’s a judge or court mandated order that results in a change in behavior or lands one in a recovery group.  Sometimes it’s another person or intervention that helps us ‘see” the reality of our life, but often, it’s when we hit ‘rock-bottom”…..we find ourselves face down in the mud, wallowing in pain, depression, despair….that leads us to begin a journey to change our life.

If you are contemplating make a change; if you are longing for life to be different; if you are in the process of doing so….be assured that at first it will be difficult.  It will take time to adjust to your new lifestyle. You will have days when you are frustrated or angry. You will have days when you feel bitter and resentful, especially if you feel as if you have no choice. You will have days when you struggle and want to give up. You will have bad days when you overreact and do, say, or eat things you wish you later regret…..but like me with my office furniture….you will adjust. You will develop a taste for healthier food. You will get through the withdrawals and it will become easier.  And likely….given time….you will  be able to focus on the blessings in life and be filled with gratitude….and you will discover….that CHANGE will lead to something even better than you even imagined.   YES….change is hard work….but trust me…. IT IS SO ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!   

I will go to work shortly and apologize to my coworkers if my agitation yesterday caused them distress and I will begin the process of unpacking my office and setting up my space, but before I do that, I will offer a prayer of gratitude to God for the blessing of employment. Later today I’ll be traveling north to an incredibly gorgeous resort right on Lake Michigan, where I’ll be staying in a luxury suite with a balcony overlooking the lake, a fireplace in my room, and a king-size bed…..accommodations way beyond my comprehension but the result of a ‘fluke” and last minute cancellations for the conference that I will attend and speak at tomorrow. My initial reservation, made and paid for by my employer, was changed just two days ago……and the result: something bigger; better; and way beyond my expectations.  This is just God’s incredible way of reminding me that, YES, change is sometimes hard and sometimes we lose something good, but more often than not we gain something even better!!!  Is God great….or what???  

Have a wonderful day today…and look for the blessings that are all around you.

Yes, I am REAL...very real.

Good Morning, my friends!  The phone rang one day last week in the middle of the night; well, the middle of “my night” (somewhere around 11:30 p.m.). I go to bed early because I rise  around  3:00 a.m. each morning. The call woke me up, but not in time to answer it before it went to voicemail. The next morning I listened to the message. It was from a person from another state who had come across my story somewhere and called to find out if I am “real”. “Is this story really true,” she asked. She stated that she is in much the same place as I was a few years ago before beginning this journey, and I’m guessing, that she is doubting that her life could ever be any different.

When my life was spiraling out of control, I certainly questioned those weight-loss stories that just didn’t seem possible. Even with a faith in a God that tells me that “With Him, all things are possible,” I still had doubts that those incredible stories of life-change were really true, especially the ones that happened without surgery. If I were to be honest with myself, though, it’s probably more likely that I was choosing to doubt their validity, not because they seemed impossible, but rather because if I were to BELIEVE them; to BELIEVE that it was possible to change my life; then I would have no excuse not to do something like that for myself.  As difficult as life was in those “Old Theresa” days, it was still easier to go to a drive-thru and eat fast-food and go home to bed with a bag of potato chips and PRETEND that I didn’t care than it was to even consider the possibility that I might need to do something, ANYTHING, to change my situation. 

If I had received a call back then asking if I were “REAL,” the answer would, admittedly, have to be, “NO; I’m not real at all.”  Oh, my pain was real; my grief was real; my disability and illness was real; but the “REAL” Theresa was buried underneath layers and layers of excess weight. I buried my anger….at the priest who decided that after 15 years of service to my parish community that I was no longer the ‘right person” for his vision.  I buried the heartache of losing my grandfather, the patriarch of our family. I buried the disgust and fear of watching our family cabin burn to the ground before my eyes on a spring night at the hands of an arsonist, who went unpunished for the crime. I buried the sadness of losing my friend, Fr. Sauter, who had become my closest friend and confidante. Mostly, I buried the shame that I felt for allowing myself to get to that point.

All of THAT STUFF was going on deep in my spirit, but only on rare occasions did I ever allow anyone to see the REAL Theresa.  Instead, I did what I needed to do to put on a happy face; to say, “I’m fine” or “I can do it myself” when someone asked. I went to work…EVERY DAY…and was doing very well in my work. I was well-liked by my students and co-workers and enjoying success in my job.  I went to college…EVERY CLASS…was earning A’s in my classes, going to school full-time and working full-time.  Every weekend for nearly two years I injected myself with a potent medicine for the Rheumatoid Arthritis that made me sick, often causing vomiting and nausea for the entire weekend...but until my hair began to thin and fall out, no one really knew.  Sometime it would get so cold in my house in the winter that my curtains would freeze to the walls; I lived for a few weeks without running water when the well/pump broke; I was prescribed potent painkillers to barely take the edge off and function at a minimum level….and yet….I don’t think anyone really knew the reality of my life.  Why?  Because I didn’t let them. I wasn’t being REAL at all. I was pretending that everything was great; that I was in control; that I was ‘just fine.”  It was too much of a risk to be REAL; to be vulnerable; to allow someone to see my pain. It was also easier to comfort myself with food, to endure my sadness in silence, to bury my pain with cookies and junk food.   Nope… I wasn’t REAL back then; I was living a lie. I was denying my reality; my responsibility; my pain.

But, not anymore!  Today, I am as “REAL” as it comes and, as long as it doesn’t compromise another person or loved one, I’m pretty much an ‘open-book’ when it comes to sharing my story. Yes, my story is true. Yes, I lost a lot of weight the “old-fashioned” way. Yes, I’ve been in magazines, newspapers, TV and radio……BUT….In more ways than not, I am just like you! I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I want them and I struggle to accept that I cannot control the behavior of other people. Life would be so much easier if I could just make “so and so” say the right things; do the things I want; be the person I need….but I can’t! Life would be easier if all those in my life who irritated me would just ‘be nice”…but they’re not.  I am often tempted to just  come home, put on my pajamas, open a bag of potato chips, put a bag of M & M’s in the bag, and eat the entire thing to make me forget about the students who disappointed me that day or to avoid all the things I need to do….but I won’t. I say things I wish I hadn’t; I make choices that don’t turn out to be the best; I think things that I ought not to.  I worry that my car will break down and I won’t have the money to repair it; I wonder who will take care of me when I get old; I fear that I’ll disappoint those who tell me that “I’m their hero or inspiration”; I wear too much makeup; have too many clothes; and have more shoes than I need….and yet….God still blesses me!

I sometimes struggle to accept that God has blessed me with this miracle and wonder, Why me? BUT…unlike the old “Theresa” days, I deal with these emotions in a new way: I face them; I surrender them to God: I acknowledge them and accept them as part of my persona. I share them with others, and I trust that God will work all things out…in HIS way; in HIS time; and He will give me what I need to do all that He has asked me to do.  Above all, I am filled with gratitude…for all things, even the hard things….because I know that He is with me every step of this journey and will reveal Himself to me in the midst of each day. 

Often, I make unwise choices and get surprised….LIKE YESTERDAY….when I took a walk after work in what appeared to be a lovely autumn afternoon with a bit of sunshine. About a mile into the walk, the sky literally opened up and I get caught in the rain; not a gentle sprinkle, but a downpour! A mile from home; no umbrella; wearing a “new to me” suede coat; nowhere to get out of the rain on a wooded road; with rain coming down.  “Old Theresa” would have been horrified to be caught in the rain: What if someone saw me….my coat is getting wet….my hair….and so forth.  “New Theresa….REAL Theresa”; however, realized that I had two choices: sit down in the mud and J   So what…my hair was wet; my jacket got wet; my mascara was running down my face; and I was a mess!  Big deal… I went home, dried off, put on my pajamas, and relished in the lingering exhilaration of being able to walk; of being free; and the joy of dancing in the rain…all alone, on a dirt road!  Life gives us opportunities like this each day….do we rejoice in them or run from them?

pout….or dance her way home in the rain!  What do YOU think I did? 

YES, I am a work in progress. YES, I have a long way to go. YES, I am willing to be vulnerable, sometimes foolish and silly. YES, I get tired. I get crabby. I get hungry. I get disappointed. But above all things…. I am grateful that in spite of my imperfections…in spite of my weakness and temptations….in spite of my doubts, fears, and insecurities….I am still abundantly blessed. I am indeed very REAL and my story is very REAL. I am, without a doubt, a walking-talking miracle! 

I encourage you today to begin to embrace the REAL you.  Look at your life and begin to identify those areas in your life where you are “pretending’ to be someone you are not. Ask yourself the hard questions….Are you hiding your pain with food, alcohol, gambling, shopping, or some other addictive behavior?  Are you lying to yourself or others by saying, “But, I’m happy like this…I’m just fine”? Are you an emotional eater?  Are you trying to keep people out by your behavior?  Are you ready to make a change in your life but keep making excuses to keep you from getting started?  I’ve been there…. I lived there….but I don’t live THERE anymore.  You don’t have to either!

 Trust me…being REAL and knowing REAL joy…REAL peace…REAL gratitude….is so much better than those potato chips…and the feeling lingers on long after the taste of that junk food.  I am more like you than not, and I tell you sincerely, “That if I can do this, you can do it too!”

Be strong in the storm

Many of you know that I attended my cousin’s wedding this weekend out of town. The wedding reception was held in a large tent at a resort on Lake Michigan. When I left for the venue early Saturday morning, I was pleasantly surprised to have a bit of sunshine and was optimistic that the weather report might be wrong. The sunshine lasted for only 11 minutes of my journey before giving way to heavy rain that would last for the majority of day, and well into the night. I was glad to arrive in South Haven after a 3-hour drive in pouring down rain and high winds. At some points, it was nearly impossible to see more than a few feet ahead of me, but then the sun would come out….in the midst of the rain…and shine brightly on the colorful autumn leaves. I kept expecting to see a big rainbow in front of me as I drove, but I never did. With the rain, strong winds, and road construction, it was a rather difficult drive and I was grateful to arrive safely at the destination.

One of the things I enjoy most about driving (preferably in good weather) is the time I get to spend in quiet reflection. I rarely listen to the radio when I drive because I enjoy the silent time. In my often way-too-busy life, finding time to think and reflect is rare, but for me, it is essential to my well-being. In between the rain showers, I was able to focus on the beautiful autumn color. Because I was heading south, the color has not peaked as it has at home, so I was treated with a glorious display of vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows. I couldn’t help but notice how those trees just ‘came alive” against the backdrop of the dark, gray, storm clouds.  I hadn’t really noticed how the color appeared more vibrant and glorious.  Hmmm….whenever I ‘notice” or “see something different or in a new way,” I know that God is speaking to me and there is a lesson or connection waiting to be discovered.

When I arrived in South Haven, I went directly to the church for the wedding mass because I was unable to check into the resort until later in the day. The ceremony was lovely and filled with the expected mixture of emotions typical of a wedding, but amidst the joy of the celebration, was a bit of heaviness in the hearts of those present. The groom, my cousin Jon, is the brother of Bridget, the beautiful young lady killed in a tragic auto accident last Thanksgiving.  One of the groomsmen was Bridget’s fiancee’, Nick, who was driving the vehicle. Bridget and Jon were to be married in March and she was to supposed to be a bridesmaid today as her brother married Liz .  Many of those present were dealing with all sorts of emotions: joy, sadness, regret, guilt, disappointment, and for some, resentment and unforgiveness. There was more than weather threatening to dampen a joyous occasion, but all went well and the day was full of joy and celebration, in spite of the circumstances.

When the ceremony ended, I headed to the resort. I was anxious to get there because I had been told that it was right on Lake Michigan. I love the water and didn’t make it to the lake this summer as I had hoped, so I was looking forward to being lakefront for a couple of days; however, I was in for quite a shock when I pulled up to the resort. When I got out of the car, I struggled to stand up. The wind was blowing so hard that it blew the car door shut on me and the sound of the waves crashing against the bank was incredibly loud. I’ve not spent much time on Lake Michigan before, and I have never seen the lake like that. I didn’t even know that it raged like that, although, the locals would probably have said, “Awww…this is nothing….you should see it…..” It was an eye-opening sight for sure. Even though I had heard the weather report was for cold, windy, and rainy weather, I was not prepared for this.  The wind was whipping so hard that the rain was coming down sideways, and the actual temperature was in the low 40’s; the wind-chill even colder. I was told that the large party tent had blown down the night before and had to be put back up that morning. It is early October, right?????

I could see the lake from my room, and although I was disappointed that I couldn’t go down to the lake that day due to the weather, the wedding party couldn’t take photos on the beach (or outside anywhere for that matter), and the guests would miss out on an infamous “Lake Michigan sunset” that I have yet to witness, I realized that there is absolutely nothing that I, or anyone else, could do about the weather. Things actually got worse as the reception began; the wind was blowing so hard that the sides of the tents were flapping, at some points knocking things over; many of the guests (me included) changed out of wedding attire into warmer clothing and wore heavy coats at the reception; and the bottom of the bride’s dress was soiled from walking to the tent across the wet, muddy ground…..and YET…..none of this really matters, does it?  The weather merely presented an opportunity for the family and guests to ‘rise to the occasion,” “rejoice in spite of,” and make the best out of a situation over which we had no control.  And certainly….God would have a lesson to be learned through this. I retired to my room early, but when I left, the party was in full swing….in spite of the raging storm whipping against the canvas sides of the tent walls.

I was happy to wake yesterday morning and discover that even though the winds were still blowing strong gusts off the lake, it had stopped raining. This meant that I would get to walk down to the lake before heading home. I bundled up and headed down to the shore amidst the loud roaring of the sea. I still hadn’t gotten used to that sound. I can’t even imagine what it is like for those of you that have lived through tornados or hurricanes. As I walked along the bluff, watching the sea crash into the break wall and the whitecaps roll off the shore, I kept thinking about my personal journey to wellness. I thought about yesterday morning before I left when I fed my goldfish in the pond and noticed that even in the nasty, cold, rainy weather (before the brief surprise few minutes of sunshine), my morning glory vine was FULL of beautiful blue blooms lifting their heads like a song of praise to their Creator. I thought about the magnificence of the autumn colors against the dark, stormy skies. I thought about the joy in the midst of the lingering grief at the wedding. I thought about the celebration inside the tent while the storm raged outside threatening to sabotage the wedding reception. I thought about how God blessed me with strength to remain strong in the midst of temptation to eat wedding cake or be unkind in the midst of some guests who have disappointed or hurt me in the past.  Perhaps God was trying to remind me that there will always be those things in life over which I have no control…..and yet….in these situations….. I am given the opportunity to SHINE brighter; rise to the occasion; rejoice….in spite of; and be strong amidst the storm?????

Although we all wish that our lives were “picture-perfect,” we’ve likely discovered that life is filled with both sunshine and rain; sadness and joy; good times and bad. I’ve weathered and survived some pretty tough times with the death of my parents at a young age; job loss; etc…, but admittedly, nearly “drowned” in the rough waters of loss just a few years ago. Instead of turning to others for help, I tried to ‘self-medicate’ with food and isolation, and as you know, was at rock-bottom not so long ago.  Instead of “rising to the occasion” and shining brightly against the backdrop of life’s storms, I shut others out and allowed the sadness and both physical and emotional pain to nearly drown me.  Fortunately, God rescued me and pulled me out of the stormy seas and literally helped me stand on my own two feet again!  I’m eternally grateful for His loving kindness.

My life is so much different these days; and yet, certainly not “perfect.” Like you, I struggle on a daily basis to stay on track. I’m tempted, not only to give into emotional eating, but also to “be unkind to those in my life that ‘push my buttons.” If ‘biting my tongue” burned calories, I’d have no problem losing the 20 pounds I’d still like to lose! J  I have days when I’m sad and I miss those in my life that are no longer physically present. There are rainy days that cause havoc on plans; stressful days that make me question my  chosen profession; painful days when my Rheumatoid Arthritis make it difficult to do even the simplest tasks; and emotional days when all I want to do is eat chips.  And yet….so many of these days are caused by things over which I have absolutely NO CONTROL.  I cannot control weather; I cannot control the behavior of others; I cannot control the things that happen to me…..but I can control my reaction.  I can control my behavior. I can control my tongue….and I can ultimately choose to either “Shine brightly amidst the storms like the autumn leaves”, “bloom gloriously like the morning glory in the rain”, “rise to the occasion and be the “bigger person” when others arouse negative emotions in me”, and “mostly, be grateful; peaceful; and joyful: in spite of…..those situations, temptations, and struggles that are bound to come my way. And like I discovered this weekend when I saw the rage of Lake Michigan for the first time….there are storms out there that are bound to come that I have yet to even experience and cannot even imagine.  When all else fails, I can simply walk away.  It’s my choice….give in….give up…..or stand strong and use the opportunity to shine!

Wherever you are on your journey….I encourage you to be strong today. If you are in the midst of a storm, or are struggling in some way, I encourage you to dig deep and trust that it won’t last long. If you are contemplating beginning a journey, be aware that you will have days when you think you won’t be able to go on; it will be hard; but take comfort in knowing, that you WILL BE able to do it; YOU WILL find the strength to go on; YOU WILL change your life….if you stay focused, stay on track, and keep your eyes focused on your goals.  If you are enjoying success, making good choices, and remaining strong, be sure to rejoice and be grateful, and become a “beacon of light” for others and a ‘stronghold” for those who are struggling.  Each day we are given a new opportunity….to give up….or rise up for the glory of God and show our ‘true colors.’  I hope you make the choices today that will strengthen you on your journey and cause your heart to rejoice…. “in spite of….” what may come your way. Be joyful; be grateful; be peaceful and Be a “MORNING GLORY” for someone today!!!